It is often easy to feel completely overwhelmed and clueless in the world of ASD -trust me I bet that every single person on this site has had the same thoughts because I know I sure have! :) Take heart though and start by taking things one day at a time. I have also been told those same things about "he's just a boy" and "you're the mom so you know best" (when really you don't have a clue what it is your child needs!). That is okay -what matters is that you are doing your best to find out WHAT he needs and how to go about getting that for him. The earlier you can get him plugged into services the better the outcomes will be. I would start by getting him evaluated in your local school system. Children 3 and under are typically serviced by Early Intervention in the home, but by 4 years old the public schools typically take over in the form of special education or pre-k type settings. Once your child has been evaluated, the school will meet with you to go over results and what they are prepared to offer your child. I would also check into occupational therapy for the fine motor issues you mentioned. The school system may be able to offer this service for free, but if you are able to seek private OT it would be beneficial as well. My son made huge progress in his handwriting in just 6 months time working with an OT and now his teacher raves about how excellent his handwriting is for a kindergartener. :) Also, don't always listen to what the "experts" say especially if what they have to say doesn't seem to be very helpful (i.e. telling you your child is the most hyper she has ever seen). Instead find someone who will not only help you identify the issue but ALSO help you work toward a workable solution. I don't know about you, but my son always seems to become extremely hyper only when we meet in the tiny offices of these "experts" so they are convinced he's hyper until I continually tell them it only happens in this specific setting (i. e. don't slap a diagnosis on him based on one context). By the way, it did take us a while to get in to be evaluated with the school system so I would start checking on that right away if that is what you decide to do. Let me know how things go...

Read everything you can on the subject, including true life anecdotes written by family members. Two books that really helped me are "Parenting Your Asperger Child" by Alah Sohn and Cathy Grayson, and "The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome" by Patricia Romanowski Bashe and Barbara L. Kirby. Anything written by Temple Grandin is usually helpful as well.

you are not alone, after a year of stating concern to my sons pediatrician they finaly refered me to Children's specialized hospital, there is a long wait there also, but they have prescreening which i got into early and they were able to point me in directions to start with, one of which is to put him in a child study preschool through our township schools so he can do occupational therapy there. Stress your concerns with your pediatrician and see who they can refer you too. Good Luck and don't give up!

Kristina, thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I have been trying to find a way to have Gabe evaluated in the school system; however, he, just recently, has potty trained and now can go to the school without being turned away for that reason. I'm very hopeful that they will help immediately and we won't have to wait another school year to begin. I've heard they don't make you wait but haven't spoken to the school about it yet. I have a 6 year old in kindergarten at the same school he will be attending, so hopefully that will help, as well.

As for listening to people regarding his hyperactivity... I honestly was glad the therapist told me that only because it confirmed my suspicions. He is hyper no matter where he is. I have ADHD and have 2 other children with ADHD and, believe me, he puts them and myself to shame. lol. I have no problem with diagnoses, so to speak, I'm interested in the big picture and how to help these kiddos succeed in life and not get lost because I can't reach them. Thanks again, I really do appreciate all the comments. It's so helpful! :)

I will have to say this, in addition... it frustrates me to no end that there are so many programs available and ways to be seen, etc. but unless you know what to ask for, very few people put the information out there for you. That part frustrates me the most - it also is the reason I'm so grateful for all of you on this site! :)