Yes, what SuzanneRenee said, is definitly they way to go. What we also did was Social Stories. Basically take the camera with and take photos of him doing the things right, if he does something not right take the photo to. Make a book of "going to the dentist". That worked with my son. My daughter we are still going through the above stages.

Actually if you have Amazon prime that episode of Mr. Rogers is available for free streaming here:
http://www.amazon.com/Episode-9/dp/B004E0I18K/r...(Phone number can only be seen by the question and answer creators)&sr=1-12&keywords=Goes+to+the+Dentist

We had those problems when Ben was little and I am glad to say that now, at age 11, he's even going through braces without difficulty. Try to find an eye doctor who doesn't make you wait three hours in the waiting room before seeing you. We actually had to leave before seeing the doctor once.

I think I would make an appointment with the dentist to talk about the issues that concern me. If the dentist doesn't feel he/she can handle your child perhaps a recommendation could be made. I think the same can be said with the optomitrist. I feel certain that they have dealt with non-verbal people before and have alternatives in place.

We found a Pediatric dentist that uses sedation. It is just a little laughing gas and it made my son forget about what was happening. My daughter still refuses the whole office ( will not go in the door) but my son is doing well with the sedation. he said he feels like he is floating around. ha ha. There is a book with the Berenstain Bears about going to the dentist too. Great book about being afraid. Peace to all