How has your child affected your marriage or signifant relationship?
My marriage has gone through so many seasons and we richly appreciate one another. No one else knows,like my husband, what i'm going through.
having three children with ASD help us become better teammates, understanding our relaxation style, managing expectations, understanding our stressors, open/honest communication, understanding how we appologize, and personality/parenting styles.
Our children have deepen our dedication to one another.
My marriage is my rock. He is everything to me. We have been married 14 years. I am so grateful that we made the decision to wait to have kids until our lives were stable enough. We had my daughter after 4.5 years and my son was born when we'd been married 7 years. I feel that the relationship we established while waiting is a major part of our ability to work as a team now. I am definitely the "main" parent but my husband listens to me so well. He trusts my judgement and he does put our son to bed every single night he is home (which is 90% of the time). I insisted on it years ago because it felt like they had so little quality time together with his job and the frustrations that come with CJ in the evening. I think it has had a huge impact on their positive relationship. Now, he takes CJ to electric guitar lessons every Saturday afternoon too. It feels like he is taking on more of the parenting with CJ. Even before though, he has always been extremely supportive, held me as I've cried, gotten excited with me, lived through the years of depressions and diagnoses with bipolar, etc. I truly do not know how I would cope without him. I think that the thing about my husband that impresses me the most parenting / relationship wise is how he will listen to me when I see something that is not right and he will do everything in his power to change the way HE is behaving. I don't know that I would take it so well. He also regularly stays home with CJ so I can go out and socialize and breathe with family and friends after CJ is in bed. I love to visit with people and he doesn't particularly and I am amazed at his ability to understand that. It took a long time to figure out that it was okay to go somewhere else. That I didn't have to sit and watch his shows or next to him on the computer every single night. I love my man and thank God for him every single day!
I am a single mother due to the fact that I can not find a man that understands my children or the fact that they take up alot of my time. I have decided that my private life can wait until they are older and have a some what life of their own.
My husband works nights and I work days. Our opportunities for meaningful communication are nonexistent. I feel like we are partners only in a tag team sort of way. Like, we are alternating turns to care for the kids while the other has a much needed break. My husband does not communicate well. He will say everything is fine, and then blows up weeks later. I'm a more optimistic, solution oriented person. He is very pessimistic and assumes if this is the way things are today, then that is as good as it gets. I believe difficulties can transform personal relationships, but only if both are willing.
My wife and I are so dedicated to our children that it has definitely strengthened our bond. Though before we knew that our daughter had autism, our disagreements over how to raise her had us through some rough times. Identifying the problem strengthened our relationship.
I have no idea...but, I'm fixing to find out...have my first date with us tomorrow...going to the movies...I figure we are a package deal...so we go together...not hiding a thing...but will be careful like a fierce Mama Bear - claws ready if needed...
Can having an autistic child put a wedge in your marriage?
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