It seems like you have a few different things going on here, and I will tell you it is very common. Even though your child is autistic they are still a child trying to push boundaries, and when a child sees that they get what they want if they complain they will keep doing it. On the other hand ASD kids have issues with attention span and some of them have little control over it, so you cannot blame them for their actions entirely.

I know this is hard because I have two ASD children and my wife and I barely have time to breathe some days, but your job is to keep your child safe and to help them in any way you can. You may want to make an appointment to have your child seen by a neurologist so they can make sure you do not have anything else going on, but also to see if there is a medication that can help. I know there are a lot of parents that do not want to medicate, however sometimes it is needed. You also should consider getting your child some ABA treatment so you can get some of the bad behavior under control. More often than not the answer is going to be a combination of therapy and meds to help the situation.

As far, as ABA goes some insurances pay for it, but most have limitations, so you will want to look into state agencies that can help you out, or if the child is in school the school system can also help out. If the child is younger than school age then you have to check with your state, but in mine it is early steps and they will handle that until the child is three. The other advice I would have is that if your child is not hurting themselves or you when they tantrum then you need to make sure they are aware that not everything is going to be tolerated and they cannot just have their way. Now if the child hurts themselves then that is out the window and you need more than that.