Who's diagnosis do you go with when all of your own research points to ASD and the psychiatrist says ASD and depression but the highly regarded children's hospital says ADHD and anxiety? This presents a problem between my husband and others in the family who aren't accepting of the ASD diagnosis.
He may very well have all of the above ADHD is very common co-diagnosis with ASD. Given the requirement of ASD is more stringent, which presumably were met, I would believe that as the primary diagnosis. All of these diagnosis simply means your child needs help regardless of what label you want to use or emphasize. But I do understand the importance of having everyone on the same page. It took my wife and her family over a year to accept the ASD diagnosis but I went ahead with all the needed interventions regardless of their own opinions on this matter and didn't just wait for him to grow out of it. Good luck.
One quick way to get everyone on the same page is to be blunt and honest about the long term ramifications of getting it wrong or doing nothing....one day you will all die and this child will be alone in the world to defend, advocate and support himself so make sure whatever diagnosis you have works for the child regardless of who else likes it and provide services and accommodations as needed and anyone(ANYONE) who cannot get on that page is a hindrance to YOUR child's health, welfare, development and potential and should not be involved...consistency, understanding and routine are what will help the most and people that do not want to believe in the diagnosis for their own vanity's sake will disrupt all of these.
Jordan was diagnosed with PDD-NOS/Autism. He does not have all the autism symptoms, but has some, and when I started reading Autism blogs of other parents and their kids issues and things they were doing, I saw Jordan was doing the same things. I saw similarities and differences, what he was doing or not doing. After a good cry, I accepted he is on the spectrum and was determined to get him the best help we and others can give him, to help him develop to his full potential. The more we help while they are young, the more normal a life they will have as an adult. I still pray for a miracle that he and others will be cured of Autism Disorder, but for now, I rejoice in his progress and growth. He is getting the help he needs in school and we work with him best we can at home. My Mom still does not accept or believe he has it, but it doesn't matter, she only sees him half a dozen times a year and does not deal with him on a daily basis to see and know all the issues he has, so I don't worry about what she thinks. She thinks I do not discipline him enough and has given me lectures about that, but we know we do discipline him and what he understands or doesn't understand, and what he just doesn't get, period. So, I don't waste my time trying to convince her or anyone else what he has or doesn't have. The behaviors, issues, delays are all presenting themselves and these are what I need to help him work on, regardless of what diagnosis he has. There is a lot of overlap with these diagnoses, and that's o.k., let the school therapists and teachers see them and sort out how best to help your child along. And if they are not helping, schedule a meeting and have them change things until they are helping, and you are seeing the progress in your child. We also give nutritional support to Jordan, and the therapists all saw the difference when we started giving him DHA daily and asked what we were giving him, so do a little research of your own or talk with your child's pediatrician to see what vitamins and supplements your child needs. We saw a good nutritionist who evaluated his daily diet and gave us a print out of what we needed to be supplementing in his diet.
My family is just now coming around to acknowledge the asd dx. Asd and adhd are a common comorbid combination. Also, when kids are young asd many times presents as adhd to most people. I went ahead with treatment and therapy as well, because I JUST KNEW intuitively that adhd was not all there was to the diagnosis. I do the same with my son who does not have a diagnosis, and presents similarly in my opinion.
My daughter received just the adhd diagnosis during her first hospitalization, even though her psychiatrist with the AFFILIATED hospital diagnosis was pdd. I took both the adhd and asd dx. They both apply heavily. I tend to ignore the people who say just adhd. Jmo.