I asked if you were on the spectrum because you answered what you would do and what you did. If you were on the spectrum then it would have held more weight. but you are a person without a disorder so what you would do adds no balance. If your child went through this and came out unscathed then it would be valuable insight. She has one other grandchild a girl. I don't think she has an agenda I think she has a desire to know her grandchild.

I don't have AS nor I am on the spectrum but thanks for asking. Does anyone ever read the profiles? Thanks for filling me on what Paul Harvey would have said was "the rest of the story". If your son doesn't care to hear about his birth mother and doesn't exhibit a sense of loss now it may as well about a tree falling a forest that no one hears.

I don't know Grandma's whole story either so I get the impression was a non-entity in her grandson's life but I don't get how her hidden agenda is a threat. Usually it's the kids playing nice to get the old folk's inheritance. It could be something more benign such as person getting older and wants make up for not being around or the fact she lost a daughter and wants a proxy of sorts. It may depend on the number of grandchildren she has because maybe she doesn't have 9 grandkids like my dad has. Is your son the only grandkid?

@A MyAutismTeam Member do you have Asperger's Syndrome or are you on the spectrum? I am very capable of handling my past either good or bad. Asperger's kids tend to internalize a lot of things and have difficulty with self esteem. My son does not have self esteem issues. We talk about his father (my brother) but never his mother. I have brought her up on several occasions but he says he is not interested in knowing about her. He knows I have his complete medical history so that is not an issue. I more worried about how his not feeling any loss will affect him rather than the loss itself. I do think his grandmother has the right to know him but she did nothing to stop the abuse he suffered nor did she ever reach out to him in 2002 after his mother died. I feel like she is getting older and is alone and is looking for people to take care of her. I would want to see my grandchild if the role was reversed but I also can't imagine ignoring my grandchild all these years. I am concerned about her agenda as well as what role she wants to play in his life. Maybe I already have the answer and I am just seconding guessing myself.

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

I don't know the whole story but I'd think a grandmother should be able to see a grandson especially one old enough to be in college. Personally, I'd want to know what happened to my parents good or bad as I'd be curious. I found out one of my ancestors was an accuser at the Salem witch trials and another was murdered as the first victim in Bleeding Kansas in the 1850s. It's different when it's fairly recent but couldn't your son assume his birth mother just didn't want to meet him or she died of some inheritable disease? My great grandfather was killed while walking down a road and I'd heard he may of been drunk so I was worried about doing something like that myself.

They never caught the killer, it was a drug deal gone bad and I am pretty sure no one is looking for them either. I don't want this to consume my son's life while he is starting a new chapter of his life as a college student.