I know the feeling your having. As a parent you want so much for your child. My son is high functioning to an extent but relies on me for everything. His social anxiety is so bad that he doesn't leave the house only to go to his tutoring and doctors appts. I think its harder to watch him have so much to offer but because he can't function with society and peers his own age he lives in his own world. I can only say I try to get him all the help I can and read as much as I can to learn all I can. I've learned my son is who he is and is very unique to say the least and I love him for that

I know the feeling, and it is like someone said on here before, we mourn for the life that could have been, but honestly we have to get over that and move forward because it does not do anyone any good. If your child is happy that is all that matters. I see these kids at the grocery store returning carts and bagging groceries, and they are happpy doing it. I know that is not what we want for our kids, but as close to normal as we can get is a good thing, as long as our children are happy.

You do the same as you do for your typical children. You look at the person they are and love them for who they are. You help them get jobs that they LIKE. You help them find a home (assistant living home). You help them become an adult. The way you go about this is different than for your typical child. But the end-goal is the same.

Please understand that I also have a severely disabled child who will be in tenth grade next year. I've been working hard the last two years to plan for his adulthood. My main goals are that my son will LIKE his work, have some independence, and generally be happy. I still don't know what that will look like exactly so we're exploring different job sites now. And we're teaching him how to do chores. etc. etc. It never ends.

Think about what he likes. Enjoy him for who he is now. Pray a lot. The journey changes but it does not end. Don't think you failed because his options are not what you thought. If he loves the work, what does it matter?

You keep doing the same thing you've been doing and love him now more than ever. I too will face a similiar situation with my son soon. We will never stop being moms.

I have a child in first grade only but i am always worrying about how he will be as an adults, if he will be able to fend for himself, if he will be able to attend college or live on his own. And sometimes i get extremelly sad thinking the worse case scenario could be possible. Like you said, the "blue times" for me are always there in varying degrees but always there. I can't get passed my sadness either but it helps me a little at least to know and understand that my son is happy and that is what matters. Sometime i think our problem lies in what we use to measure success, what we have as the standard, and it is usually quite high, specially when we have other kids that do very well, who are on the compleyely opposite side of our child on the spectrum. I try every day to focus on the good things, the happy things, the positive things that my ASD child is capable of doing and in his happy smile. It helps somewhat but i think i will never get over my sadness completely, but that is my problem. For my son i do anything in my power to help him every day, to help him be the best he can and make sure his life is a happy one. I hope your son has a happy life and your heart feels at least a little happier with that thought in mind.