I had this problem. Like @cbp said, I used the wrightslaw website and books to become a good advocate and understand my son's rights. They can not ignore a doctor's diagnosis but some will try. I just insisted that the medical diagnosis was put in the IEP.

Yes we did. They said he did not meet their criteria (you know, after watching him 5-10 min here and there) even though I had the papers from his neuro-psych eval. In the end I let them put ED on his IEP as the maid dissability though because it got him more services then the ASD would of and we were getting the ASD services outside the school anyway. However if he needs services related to his ASD in school I would fight it! This was all at the end of the year last year and I ended up taking him out of school in Oct of this year anyway because I just did not feel his classroom was the best place for him. (last year however it WAS and I would of kept him in if he still had his teacher from last year.)

Keep them on their toes and keep in touch with the advocate. Its your son's education. He deserves the best to succeed.

@SammyJNorris: Thank you. Im hoping it will be better. Since we had the meeting so close to the Christmas break it was difficult to really put everything in effect. But what the school was able to do seemed to work. When he goes back next week, we will be able to see how everything pans out and what needs to change.

I havent necessarily encountered this specific problem but the issues I have had with my sons schools have been that they have been really reluctant to make any changes without an actual diagnosis. It has been extremely apparent that he has issues and it shows in class. I have had many conferences with his teacher, school psychologist and principal to talk about what changes that can be made within the class to help him until I am able to get a diagnosis. They said that there is nothing they can do without an official diagnosis. I would be so frustrated because every day he was getting so overwhelmed in the regular classroom setting and then would shut down or act out, thus causing a snowball effect of turmoil. I pleaded with them, saying that it could be months before I am able to get to a diagnosis... I just couldnt understand how the school would be willing to set a child up to fail. They knew that that particular set up wasnt working for my son and yet they werent willing to make any changes to help him succeed. Since we have just gotten his diagnosis a little over a month ago, I have only had one meeting with the school to set up an IEP for my son. I decided to find a child advocate that would go in to the meeting with me. It was a great decision since she was able to ask questions that I never even thought to ask. She wasnt intimidated and made sure we didnt leave that meeting until I was satisfied with the steps that they would take to help my son have a positive school year.