We have had our son's autism service dog for 1.5 years and it takes time for them to bond. We have Elf sleep with Caden, he gets special treats from Caden, and the only time we play ball with his special tiy is after a practice track. You could also talk to your trainers if you went through an agency. Elf now goes everywhere with Caden including kindergarten!

I don't have experience with service dogs, but I do know how my own dogs react when my youngest has his meltdowns. They rottie runs and hides, he is a scared. Often the dog runs to me, me hiding behind me. All this to say It sounds to me like this dog you got is afraid of your daughter. How old is the dog? It might be possible the dog is simply not the right dog for your daughter. How does the dog react when your daughter is calm? Does he go near her at all? Can the trainer come to your house and help? Perhaps the trainer could come to your house and watch how they interact and the dog's reaction to her meltdowns.
Do you have the option to get a new dog? It is possible this is just not the dog for her,I know I said that already but it really is possible. Just like some people don't mesh, the same can be said about people and animals.
I realize I asked more questions than answered but I hope it helps some.

First and foremost you need to get in contact with the agency you got the ASD from! It takes on average 2-3 months before the child/dog bond is truly there (6 months for my own daughter).

Remember these miracle dogs are not robots. They are dogs. Just like us, they have good days and bad days. The industry average for failed service dog placements is ~5% (not just autism). Our fist was a failure---turns out she had an undiagnosed thyroid problem. Our 2nd placement for our daughter is FABULOUS. The ASD we use for our charity is a rockstar in pack, and is a bumbly teenage when off duty (who loves to chase rabbits & dig).

As the parent of an ASD it is your job to be the expert. Work with your trainers..learn EVERYTHING they do. If your trainers are not local then find a local obiedience trainer to work with while you get more comfortable with your new role.

Hope this helps :)

I think this is just not the right dog for your family. It happens and don't feel bad about it, that dog may do wonders for another child or an adult. I would see about "returning or exchanging" it, and if possible see if you can take out the next dog on a "trial" basis? You want the dog and your daughter to bond, so the experience will be beneficial to them both. I wouldn't want to force a dog to be around someone it seems uncomfortable with, I wouldn't like to be forced to be around someone I'm uncomfortable with as a human! I would think you should be able to see an instant bond, but that's only my opinion, and seeing dogs react around my son. Good luck!

My son has a service dog and she has done wonders for him. I guess it just depends on the dog