It's just gonna take a lot of patience and a lot of reminders...my daughter is 9 and has always needed to be told everything tons of times

My son had the same problem, it's common with all kids at this age. What I did for my boy, I took a bag full of activities for him to do, coloring books, blocks, play-doh, army men, etc.

As for trying to get your daughter to sit still with the aba therapist, what works wonders for my son when the speech and occupational therapists come to work with him is putting him in his high chair and doing his therapy there. It helps him stay focused and he does much much better with therapy sessions that way. Infact, when one of the therapists come over, he automatically climbs up into his high chair because, to him, he thinks it's play time :) Of course after 20 minutes he's ready to get down but a solid 20 minutes of therapy is great! So maybe you can try finding one particular spot in the home to routinely use for his aba sessions so she will eventually know that when she is in that location with that therapist that she needs to focus and be on task for as long as possible. I'm sorry I can't help out with tips on getting her to sit still in the classroom as my son isn't at that point yet (he's 29 months). Good luck! If you find any new tricks that work, please share!