I don't know about the reason behind her idea that your daughter is not on the spectrum because of how social she is or that she makes eye contact.

My son does not make eye contact often but he is learning to now - and if you call his name he will look at you, but then divert his eyes. He is VERY social and ALWAYS has been. He WANTS friends and wants to be around them. BUT, he does not want people to touch him. Nor does he understand how to behave socially OR what other people's body language, tone of voice or facial expressions mean. He does not know how to be appropriate in social situations.

Right now he is struggling with another student that he has become obsessed with, for example. He wants to be with this kid 24/7. In doing so, he has made the kid uncomfortable and even angry. But, my child doesn't SEE that. He cannot understand frustration and anger (or rather is not able to read it).

In fact, there are times when you'll have a very social (at first) child on the spectrum become distant from others to protect themselves. My neighbor (is in his 60s) has autism, and he does not like to be around people, his mother who still lives with him, had said it was due to him constantly being tormented as a child for being different and he just turned into this recluse with social phobias.

ALL that said, I would get a different opinion. BUT, if the reason she is not talking is not related to autism, then at least there is hope that once a diagnosis is made, she'll be able to go through therapy and start being able to talk.

It could be that she is deaf enough that she cannot understand the words being heard. I have a cousin with this problem, it wasn't caught because the pings came back normal?? but there was some deformity with her ear that jumbled up the sounds, with special hearing aids she hears just fine. Originally the doctors diagnosed her with mental retardation. But this was all actually caused by lead poisoning in her baby toys, and not something she was born with, rather it developed as she did. I am not saying this is the problem, but to keep in mind there are many reasons a child's language may be delayed or just not there.

regardless of if they think she is autistic or not, best thing to do is not waste precious treatment time and move ahead with an emphasis on language when she's ready. the key is communication, not necessarily language. she needs to be able to communicate effectively before it starts to frustrate her and begin behaviors. try signing (there are videos on youtube)

They were my second opinion. .so like I said I'm keeping the original and we will continue services and time will tell

Being social and making eye contact are not the be all end all when it comes to a diagnosis and a true professional should know that. I may very well be just an issue with speech but at that age you can diagnose autism. If you really want to be sure I would get a second opinion.

I can except either diagnoseside for now..so I'm sticking with autism and services. .I dunno what will happen when she enters preschool. .hopefully she is communicating by then..