What Do You Do With A Child Whose Fixation(s) Get In The Way Of Every Day Living? | MyAutismTeam

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What Do You Do With A Child Whose Fixation(s) Get In The Way Of Every Day Living?
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

I have an 8.5 year old boy, higher functioning, whose fixations/obsessions are in the way of every day life. His fixation on fitbits, phones, voicemails, the way people sign their names (there are a few more, this is just to name a few) get in the way of everything. He doesn't talk to us about anything else. Any conversation he has with any person somehow has to do with one of his fixations. When he comes with me to the store, he doesn't want to come with me. He wants to come because he can… read more

posted June 20, 2016
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A MyAutismTeam Member

Ja - today, he, I and his little brother took the dogs to the fenced in school yard and they played basketball while I ran the dogs.

At one point, NT son motioned me over during a lull in their playing and whispered that he almost felt like he had a real brother.

That was most significant. Most significant.

His little brother has been so resentful - not only of his AS brother "getting away" with things, but even more resentful that his older brother has not been able to ACT like an older brother - doing normal things together like playing a pickup game of basketball.

Wife and NT son were on holiday when I began giving I the magnesium supplements. I'd really not expected them to notice any changes in I but they have.

Its almost too good to be true and I (we) really don't want to get our hopes up just yet.

You are very right about so many variables that can influence things. Even the moods of NT people can be influenced by countless variables.

We're going to start the B vitamins tomorrow.

Thanks so much for the suggestion(s)!

posted June 30, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

@A MyAutismTeam Member
Ja - the improvement has continued. When I got up this morning, he had already been up, taken care of the dogs (we are trying to housebreak a rescue), got himself some breakfast - instead of waiting on me to do everything.

The only glitch I've seen was late yesterday. I'd taken him to a Japanese restaurant where he'd had sushi (one of his favourties) and miso soup. Afterwards, we'd taken the dogs to a school with a fenced in playground, where we let them run and he and I usually play a pickup-game of basketball, he was "meh, I'm not into playing" - I know the soup was probably loaded with MSG - I'd tried it and could taste it.

But that hardly qualifies as an angry, frightening meltdown, does it? lol.

We haven't gone 'No Gluten' yet and it seems impossible to get away from the food dyes and MSG in everything - though I try to limit it where I can.

I will take your advise with the B-6, as well. I know there are absorption issues with some minerals and I do plan to use the chelated variety.

TBH, Ian's AS symptoms do have a bipolar like cycle to them. There are periods where he does seem to improve and then inexplicably deteriorates in repeating patterns, irrespective of any medications he may or may not be taking. This "cycle" seems to trump all.

It will take long term observation before we can definitively say it "works".

But I'm very hopeful with what I've seen so far.

Thank you, again, for the reminder. :)

posted June 28, 2016 (edited)
A MyAutismTeam Member

Preservative thoughts/patterns are part of the diagnosis of ASD. All I can do is beg you to look at it differently.

To him, it is not getting in the way of everyday life. This is how he joins the world, and finds comfort. I know it may be annoying, to you and others but he really is fascinated by these things, and he is trying- however unsuccessfully- to share that wonder with you! Our fixations (I"m an autistic mom of an autistic tot) are how we connect with the world. What seems like useless info to you, is our way of sharing information, which we find interesting, and we understand communication to be about. It is very rare that I talk to do anything other than transmit factual information, even at 27.

It's not something that needs to be medicated, or really helped. You could try and talk to him about diversifying his conversations, give him a new rule like "say one thing about something you like, and then make sure to ask the other person about themselves, or what they like, before going on about your preferred topic" Granted, conversations will sound scripted (they are, afterall) and formulaic, but if you prefer that, then you could do that. Personally, I would just embrace it and know that it is his way of connecting with you and others

posted June 25, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

Thank you for your response. Yes, you understand exactly what I'm saying. It's so hard and frustrating! I have yet to find an answer as well, but I'm grateful for others who "get it".

posted June 22, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

My son is a lot like that too! He is six now very verbal when we are out its unreal some things he will say to people ( and of course they just look at me for explanation)
He wants to be a part of conversation but just doesn't know what's appropriate so I know he is trying
We started practicing in different common situations ( like cashier at grocery store) coaching him then let him practice
Hoping it will help will see

posted June 21, 2016

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