We've moved several times. We have always asked our daughter for input, how involved does she want to be or not. Sometimes she did not want to see the house or her room until the day we moved in and other times she wanted to see it in advance. We have always accommodated her wishes and not try to force her to do it one way or another. Helpful things for her were to move while she was at school, then we'd have the movers set up her room/bed/dresser etc first. We'd make her bed, set up her favorite toys/items, so when she came home from school she could go right into her room with all of her familiar things and chill while we finished unpacking boxes. We have "therapy cats" which live in her room and help her adjust. We try to emphasize the positive - "you can paint your room any color you want, it will be so fun to decorate". We are moving next week again and this time she wanted a white shag rug for her room, so now she is excited to have that under her bed, something new that she does not have now. We have always stayed in the same county so have emphasized everything will stay the same, the same school, friends, restaurants, teachers, etc. Good luck with your moves too!

I brought my daughter to all the houses we looked at. When we picked one, I drove her by the house several times and told her we were moving there because it was closer to her school. I picked her room and prepared it before hand, when we finally moved in, she wanted to explore the whole house, so I let her do that, the we explored the neighborhood together. After the first week, she decided she didn't like her bedroom, so she moved into the master bedroom and she is still in it after 8 years. Other than that we stuck to her normal routines and allowed her to play in the backyard (slide and swings) on her own, just monitored her through security cameras. Did it to allow her a sense of freedom at the new place. I also explained to all my neighbors about her condition and that at times she would scream when she was frustrated. A couple of times when she had a melt down, she actually ran out of the house into the backyard. There were times when she wanted to walk down to the end of the street (about 300 meters) and I allowed her do it, I just walked behind her (10 meters away), when she got to the end she turned around and came back to the house, I believe doing things on her own terms without anyone holding her hand or telling her you can't go there or do that gave her a sense of freedom that helped her like the house.

I recently moved and since I have my son every other weekend I drove him past the home before we moved in and told him this was soon to be our new home.. The seller of the house let me bring my son into the home and see the rooms walk the property before we closed on the home. He made himself comfortable on the love seat and laying in the guest bed upstairs. The sellers we great about it. Last weekend was his first time there since we moved and he walked in and noticed the furniture has changed and it hit him that this was our new home. He did very well woke up once in the middle of the night opened his door then closed it again and went back to sleep. He took a liking to my daughters home school room so he sat in his bungee chair in that space with his ipad for a couple hours. we did some familiar table games in that space as well that helped him adjust.

Make sure you take your child back to see the old house is empty. That way they can reason why the family is not going back to the home they know.

personal point of view from woman with asperger's, My advice, again and revised, in case no one wants to scroll up: my parents let me be involved and observed various aspects of the move such as moving company conducting estimates, contractors doing pre-signing inspections on both houses. My parents also gave me responsibility, packing my own things. My parents gave me independence, choosing my new room (I am an only child so I was able to do this). My parents gave me some choice of where things went outside my bedroom (where my favorite papyrus painting from our Egypt vacation would go in the dining room). My parents always prepared me on behavior expectations throughout (e.g. behaving at the real estate office for signing, behaving when the movers are around, etc.) I was 12 years old at the time and this was prior to my Asperger's diagnosis.