There is a great deal of criticism out there about ABA, not just about how it's been done in the past. How do you find a therapist or program that is, well, kinder to kids, and appreciates their neurodiversity? For example, helping kids gain skills in a safe and enjoyable way and dealing with extremely problematic behaviors (no, I don't think stimming is a problem, but injuring self or others) without hours and hours of drilling, manipulation, and discrete trials?
I think the problem that people always give in regards to ABA is that you are forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. I have heard many Augustine's adults say this and my question to them is do you think you would have made it to the point of expressing those feelings and be able to even discuss this situation if your parents had not given you ABA. Now if we are talking about a pretty capable child on the high end of the spectrum you might have an argument because you could say did that child really need 20hrs of ABA a week, or would other therapies have made more sense.
For children moderately or severely affected by autism ABA is a must because they do need to change their behavior because it is getting in the way of everything else. Look even NT children don't like being forced to do something but we still make them. As adults there are things we are forced to do that we don't like as well so this is part of life.
Parents of sutustic children do the best they can with what is out there in regards to treatments and therapies but it is a hard choice to make. One thing I do know is that if a parent does nothing then that child is going to have severe issues later and life and be far less able to live in the real world. Parents do their best and sometimes children need to be thankful for that instead of having bad feelings about what should or should not have been done. Abuse and neglect are something different I am more speaking on therapy choices.
One thing I did not mention is that ABA is also very dependent on the therapist supplying it so don't just give up because you had one bad therapist, it happens. Don't give up on it right away because the therapist isn't good at their job. I have had a bad therapist before but I have had a great ones as well and they make all the difference in the world.