Also, I think it's first important to define what is meant by "speaking" or "talking" or some other similar terms. When someone refers to speaking or talking, I usually think that not only are words being used, but the words are being used to communicate something. So, simply echoing something that was heard on the TV or somewhere else that does not appear to have any appropriate context I would not consider to be speaking or talking. So, if the child says "Cheerios" and they are only satisfied if you give them Cheerios and nothing else, that is what I would define as either speaking or talking, i.e. the words are being used to communicate a need or want. I would also consider it to be speaking or talking where they say a word like "cow" when they see a cow. It's not communicating a need or want, but it is trying to say something that is in the appropriate context.

Also, as to close approximations used the mean the same thing - I would also consider it to be speaking or talking. So, back to our Cheerios example, if a child says "eos" for Cheerios and utilizes that same term every time they mean Cheerios, I would also consider that speak your talking. Yes, the word isn't entirely correct, but it is the same utterance to communicate the same need or want.

I think the next step beyond speaking or talking to define conversational skills. I would say conversational skills extend beyond simply needs or wants or clarify needs or wants with a "yes" or a "no" statement. So, for example, I would say that this is more of a back-and-forth where you ask them what they did today, and they say something even if that something is rather simple. So, in response to asking what they did today, and they respond "scissors" - even this simple utterance indicates some sort of attempt at conversation. (Of course, if they didn't do anything with scissors that day, that would not be conversational.)

Hi, Diane. My wife and I have 2 boys on the autism spectrum. Our oldest-16yo is higher functioning and spoke pretty early, but mostly non-functional. Scripting, rote statements. His language is much better, but he still has issues with comprehension of language and restricted subject matter. Our younger son-14yo, has much less language and started speaking only single words when he was about 3 or so but he has really stayed in the 3 to 5-word sentence length since then. No chit-chat, but he'll ask for the basics of what he needs, so that's a big positive. Best wishes.

Hi Diane,

You're probably going to get answers all over the place for this one. Also, I'm sure a number people have different views on what is meant by "speaking" or "talking". The below is just my view on things and generally details my son's development.

My son turns five next month. He had about 50 words at the age of two. But these words were merely to express needs or wants and to label things. He would say "cheese" when he wanted cheese and "Cheerios" when he wanted Cheerios. By about three, he started having some additional two-word utterances. However, not that many. During this time, he did lots of hand leading. He was diagnosed with ASD at two years three months. The doctor who diagnosed him, his ABA therapists and others consider him high functioning.

By four, he had several two and three word out utterances. However, they weren't really conversational. Utterances like "I want Cheerios" etc. Sometimes there were be some complex statements like "these are delicious" when eating goldfish but they were few and far between. He has apraxia so that makes it really hard to understand him so sometimes he's saying something, but I just can't understand what he's saying.

Now, he's almost 5. His multiple word utterances are much better. He uses appropriate noun – verb – object sentences, but again it's hard to understand them, so we don't always know what he is saying. So, he'll say stuff like "help me please", "sleep in bed" when he wants us to sleep in his bed with him", "let's watch Pepa" when he wants to watch Pepa pig, etc. "I want poop potty please" when he wants to use the potty. He also sometimes states more complex statements like "no, I want to stay here" when we are trying to convince him to sleep in his own bed. Again, it's not all the time, but it is dozens of times every day. He seems to understand the correct use of pronouns. He told his teacher the other day "it's cold outside."

As for conversational speech, it's not there yet. I'm hoping we make that next jump in the following year. He has sometimes responded to questions like "are you happy" and he responds with "I'm happy." I'm not sure if that's exactly conversational. We then ask him why he is happy, he doesn't say anything. Also, he can be a bit shy even around his mom and me and doesn't like to say hi. However, at his ABA center the other day when there were tons of kids around he yelled rather boisterously "hello everyone!"

Thank you very much for all your answers my gran daughter will be 3 in April she says some words but mainly babble She communicates with us through actions like leading us by the hand or putting her cup in our hands if she wants a drink she also seems to talk with her eyes we have been assured she is high functioning so i am just hoping that some day she will be able to talk to us .