Does Anyone Else Discipline/ Treat Their Child Normally? | MyAutismTeam

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Does Anyone Else Discipline/ Treat Their Child Normally?
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

What i mean by that question is... do you try to engage/ prepare your child for the real world? As in trying to take them out in public? Getting them used to things they may not like or that may cause meltdowns? My opinion is .. to prepare the child as much as possible for the real world ( depending on where they are on the spectrum) because one day they maybe by themselves and some people may not cater to them. I know i probably shouldnt think like that but i would want my child to be as… read more

posted October 19, 2018
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A MyAutismTeam Member

I don't- but our son is limited by cognitive and speech delays that would make it nothing more than cruel to discipline him like a "normal" child. I agree to some extend your wish to prepare your kid for the real world- but it's important to consider his/her level of understanding compared to yours or to your average non-autistic person. If your kiddo follows your logic in discipling him, it's okay to do it in a modified manor. But I don't really think any autistic child can be harshly chastened- it wouldn't do anything except scare and confuse him.

posted October 19, 2018 (edited)
A MyAutismTeam Member

My lil guy is higher functioning. When he 1st got diagnosed they kept saying routine routine routine to avoid tantrums. But I was resistant because I felt eventually and in the real world routines get interrupted & deviated from. So instead I changed things up often and in a sense forced him to keep thinking on his feet & problem solve. When he strongly protests he needs to ask for help or I take a step back so we can both reassess. It’s a learning process.
example: new safety protocol at school parents could no longer walk their children to the front door. So when they stopped me at the gate, Noel had to walk the rest of the way alone. I didn’t realize it was a routine till that moment. He refused and had a small tantrum. Long story short now in the morning I switch it up and we talk it out. “We are going left today & we have to press the crosswalk button and wait for the walk sign, now we are passing the park.” The next day I go right. And I ask which way now? And lil by lil I stopped further & further from the gate. My intention isn’t eventually to let him walk by himself. I just want him to be thinking and it’s also confidence building.

posted October 19, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

My stepson is nonverbal, 6 years old. I understand that it takes more patience and understanding to fairly discipline him vs my 11 year old non autistic son, but it is necessary in my opinion. My stepson was getting kicked out of public places, after school care, and throwing tantrums non-stop. It was interfering with my own child's sanity, and I put my foot down. Now he understands that I mean business, and when I am around he doesn't throw himself down anymore, he stays in bed when it's bedtime, he eats all of his food before getting up from the table, etc.
I don't agree with "allowing" asd children pull hair or hit to "let out their steam". They are bright individuals and it's our job to teach them good behavior.

posted February 9, 2019
A MyAutismTeam Member

Just finished an excellent book “Uniquely Human” written by a doctor who has been working with ASD kiddos and their families for nearly 40 years. He has a section toward the end of the book on common questions from parents and the types of answers and wisdom he’s received over the years. That said, he describes one family who breaks individuals in society into 4 groups based on your relationship to them. Those in the outermost circle (ie total strangers) to innermost—and how to handle any tantrums or challenges in public. It helps think things through like this!

posted October 27, 2018
A MyAutismTeam Member

Better to go out in public now even with some friction. My kid needs to function in the real world sometime and I won't be around forever. Be careful about public disipline as people are quick to call the cops far more than they used to. Cell phones changed a lot. You may innocent but the cost to defend yourself is not cheap. Never had it happen to me but its scary.

posted October 20, 2018

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