@A MyAutismTeam Member, I too am undiagnosed but strongly suspected aspie. My wife is the one who brought the possibility of this being the case up. I am constantly missing social cues and subtle hints from her causing her to respond with sarcasm. I take the comment literally, and the whole thing goes downhill fast. She gets upset that I can mask and do alright out in public, but do not continue the charade at home. Sh has no understanding just how exhausting it is to maintain that mask. It is a different from physical exhaustion, in that it is the executive function that goes first. Like the brain goes into a sort of survival mode focused on survival. During these times just about any sensory input or demand is perceived as a threat and is responded to as such. There is no logical evaluation, just action then reaction. It is just as unpleasant for the person going through it as those around them. So yeah, I need some downtime when I get home. I do love my wife dearly, and wish that someday I will be able to pick up on the subtle hints from her. I wish I could give you some good advice, but I am still figuring this out for myself.

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A MyAutis...

@A MyAutismTeam Member Yes, I am currently talking to a psychologist who specializes in autism and marriage, and I am speaking to lots of autistic people themselves and their partners so I can understand him better.

@A MyAutismTeam Member Thank you! My wonderful autistic pre-teen has recently introduced me to the neurodiversity movement and I’m realizing more and more that autistic adults are the *real* experts and offer more valuable insight than any professional or fellow parent ever will. Can you provude some insight into your rigidity and how you overcame it? Thank you very much.

@A MyAutismTeam Member No, Mike is resistant to counseling or any type of therapy, because he hates talking about his feelings and is more of a rational thinker. I have told him how I feel but that only got us into a long-winded argument. He thought I was criticizing him and he refuses to believe he has Aspergers. Any advice?

@A MyAutismTeam Member I don’t want him to change who he is, I just want to understand his rigidities more and adapt to his behavior. I love him very much but just need to understand him.

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A MyAutis...