Any Advice For How To Handle Aggression In A 13 Year Old Boy With Moderately Severe Autism? | MyAutismTeam

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Any Advice For How To Handle Aggression In A 13 Year Old Boy With Moderately Severe Autism?
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

He is destroying the walls of his bedroom by throwing items when he gets angry.today he got so upset he picked up his keyboard piano and threw it right at me. I don't know what to do I don't know if it's time for medication or this too shall pass.... Any advice from others who have gone through the same thing?

posted July 31, 2019
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A MyAutismTeam Member

Myee99

What cognitive functioning is your son? My parents were always anti meds but now I am more open to the idea. If it helps regular his mood so that he isn't as compulsive or can manage his frustrations or emotions better, I'm for it.

We honestly can't afford to keep replacing things he throws away. He's thrown away a chest, sofa seat cushions, new coats (throw away 2 last year), shoes, hats, now a ps3.

posted July 31, 2019
A MyAutismTeam Member

My 11 year old son gets angry now he’s been biting his arm and leaving bruises.his therapist now has me looking into ABA

posted August 3, 2019
A MyAutismTeam Member

Yes, it's puberty and we too have gone down the medication route. It's not everything though.

A big part of crisis intervention is avoiding the crisis though. Why is he getting angry? It can't be all explained away with hormones. Summer brings challenges with lack of structure and a new school year looming right around the corner. I know that kids on the spectrum rely on structure to cling to certainty and maintain emotional control.

Is he bored? If so, then you need to set up a sort of a schedule so that there are not long periods of time where he is allowed to vegetate and be lulled into a mental funk. Getting out of the house when the weather is nice is a no-brainer. Sunlight and being out in the open are good for the mind as well as the body.

OTOH are you trying to make demands of him when he just wants to be? Again, a schedule of activities should also include chores.

Is he asking for more boundaries or privacy? Perhaps you caught him in a situation where he felt vulnerable. If the door is closed, knock. If it's open, still it's a good idea to knock. Don't go into the situation with your own guns blazing though. If you're angry, he'll just get angry right back. It's a power struggle.

As for destroying his room, I can commiserate. If he's destroying the walls you may have to put up bead board or paneling and plexiglass over windows and whatnot. As for his keyboard, if it's broke it's gone. If he valued it then he shouldn't have thrown it at you - nor should he blame you for *making* him throw it at you. The teenage mind sometimes defies logic.

Bear in mind, I say this as I waste the day at a keyboard and my 12yo is on his Nintendo. Take what I say with a grain of salt, but fortunately my 12yo is not angry like your 13yo is. I'M the angry one more often. I need to grow up too! ;o)

posted August 1, 2019
A MyAutismTeam Member

@A MyAutismTeam Member, he’s all across the board with cognitive functioning. His struggles, socializing/understanding people, processing information, and memory capacity can be challenging at times.

posted August 1, 2019
A MyAutismTeam Member

Hi PryaMenon, my son went through this, he used to hurt me a lot, he used to scared me. I noticed it was right around the same age as your son. Communicate with him about the repurcussions, example, you or him getting injured. I never gave, nor wanted to give my son meds. I figured he needed an outlet to release his anger/frustration/loneliness, we talked a lot. I also showed him videos about abuse, and how if he broke me, I wouldn’t be able to help him, or end up in the hospital. Invest in a puching bag or get him involved in extracurricular activities to release his anxieties. Our kids have frustrations due to relating to the world, how others treat them, the difficulties they have, and understanding everyday life as well. Your son doesn’t need to be verbal to explain these things to, he can hear, and view information.

posted July 31, 2019

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