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Where Is The Line Between Letting Our Kids Be Themselves And Intervention?

Where Is The Line Between Letting Our Kids Be Themselves And Intervention?

I’ve always felt torn on this. We work toward these developmental goals all the time, and I like to let kiddo just relax and play his way as a break after we work on something. (Lying on the floor, eyes at ground level, pushing cars on the carpet.) It’s so hard to know the balance between making sure I’m offering interesting new activities (spurring growth) and just letting him do what makes him happy. I saw this IG post by Mary Lynch… read more

A MyAutismTeam Member said:

I definitely think the quote has a negative tone to it as well. It's implying that stim time is somehow a bad thing. Stimming is natural; it's like breathing. If stimming is becoming harmful to the person or others around them (hurting themself or others), then yes, by all means, various activities should be explored. At the same time, if it's something the person is visibly enjoying, why stop them?

posted about 2 months ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

My kiddo loves to stim
Thats how he enjoys his own life. Aba time is aba time. Just like school or therapy.
I work to provide but when Im off or have down time I dont want people making me work still.
If we spend time trying to form our children to what we think they should be doing every minute of their lives especially when its daily living then we are doing more harm than good and stunting our own childs ability to learn and grow in their own time in their own way.

posted about 2 months ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

Stimming can be stimulating OR relaxing, a coping mechanism. My philosophy is let him spin!

The only one I intervene on is teeth grinding, (does when happy and intensely focused) redirected to chewie necklace.

posted about 2 months ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

Okay, sounds like we’re all close to being on the same page. To be fair, I have learned a lot from Mary Lynch Barbera, especially her book, “The Verbal Behavior Approach.” But there appears to be some space for philosophical difference (on how much and what changes are needed), and that depends on how intensely the child is affected by the ASD. Like @A MyAutismTeam Member says, if behaviors are dangerous, it’s important to keep kids safe. I guess I’ve always embraced my own difference within my family (the lone eccentric in a family of conformists), so I have a knee jerk reaction to anything that sounds like “normalizing” kids. We all have baggage; there’s mine! 😁

I hope someday society will be kinder to different people. Maybe the popularity of things like fidget toys are a step in that direction. We have come a long way since Kanner defined autism in the 40s. I truly believe that families standing with autistic people are the force that will keep us moving forward, both for advocacy and transforming how people view neurodiversity.

posted about 2 months ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

As an Autistic adult, I was very imaginative as a child. I didn't know how to play the way n/t kids knew how to play. If someone were to show me I probably wouldn't have listened to them. I had my own way of using my time. I wish I knew how to express my feelings and I think that's why I stimmed a lot and talked to myself. However, when going to my friend's homes as a child my friends would come up w/ great ideas on how to play and I would follow their lead. For example- I had a friend play bank with me, taking our dolls to the doctor for a checkup,those kinds of play I enjoyed. I was never one to come up with the ideas. So when I was alone and played I was usually stimming.

posted about 2 months ago
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