What Are Some Options For A 10 Y/o Young Lady Who Feels The Loneliness Of Having No Close Friends??? Tough Question I Know.... | MyAutismTeam

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What Are Some Options For A 10 Y/o Young Lady Who Feels The Loneliness Of Having No Close Friends??? Tough Question I Know....
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

I'm the Grandfather and I teach her Martial Arts. she gets some social interaction this way but desires more. she still has problems reading peoples body language and understanding cruel statements, but understands she's been sprinkled with Fairy dust As my wife say's.

posted September 8, 2020
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A MyAutismTeam Member

Hey Sean, I would say GOOD JOB starting her with martial arts and keep going as far as you can. You might want to go to you being her recognized teacher level (I.e. teaching her the master/ student ideal). Why? If she has the ability to learn that it opens up things for you to explain to her a mentally useful tactic that helps a lot of autistics...stoicism. Think of how a middle to high functioning autistic will have to live in this digital age of sarcasm and fear/ distance. All of this mess we now live in is WAY to complicated for us let alone them to balance everyday but stoic doesn’t need that. That martial arts/ stoic mindset will help her (with you as her guide), to understand the rarity and value of true friendship and family value but try and focus (like I have with my daughter), that MANY things in life just don’t make sense but there is a greater purpose and calling for her. Her not being able to be sarcastic because it’s too complicated becomes “you don’t do it because it’s not honorable”. Like @A MyAutismTeam Member said about their kids kinda checking out of the quest for friends that happens more often than not. I think it’s a blessing really. The one superpower that most autistics need to be helped with is their ability to live in another mental world. Because this one is getting so negative and Spartan a lot of us neurotypical persons are looking for another mental world to live in! She may never find friends brother, but having a loving grandfather is the gift in front of her! Do your homework and organize your gift for her. I’ve taught several kids martial arts over the years. Best lesson to teach them is the one we struggle to remember... “the most perfect punch or kick isn’t the hardest or highest one! It’s the one that connects!“
I’d wish you good luck but instead I’ll wish you “firm steps”.

posted September 8, 2020
A MyAutismTeam Member

My 10 year daughter seems to be the opposite. No interest in having friends or playing with other kids ever. Feeling lonely seems to a normal response for most kids who lack enough social interaction.

We live in a small, older neighborhood where most the kids are all older or moved out. There is a large family of homeschoolers that are a little younger but my daughter made some statements in their presence that I think made them nervous. My 8 year old non-ASD son says he's an "introvert" so he doesn't express an interest to playing over there. We had a dog for 5 months but she died suddenly from leukemia so that made things worse for a while.

When I grew up in the old days 70s and early 80s, kids could roam around but that was replaced with "stranger danger" stuff from those kids on the milk carton boxes. Later, the internet and smart phones gave them too much entertainment so they didn't want to meet people. Now, the coronavirus has everyone afraid to approach people unless necessary.

posted September 8, 2020
A MyAutismTeam Member

You can try letting her skype (online video chat) with people you know. There are also online social groups. Our grandson doesn't have many friends that he and skyping has made a difference with social interaction.

posted September 8, 2020
A MyAutismTeam Member

Thank You, I will look into finding some groups she may be interested in.

posted September 8, 2020

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