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I'm so tired of people telling me to "take care of myself" and to not forget "self-care". It is important, I know, but being told those words just feels like another thing on my never-ending to-do list. Instead of saying the words, why not just do something good for a caregiver that already has her plate full?
I had to think about this before I decided to add my feedback. I understand your frustration. I didn’t have any help from friends or family when my kids were younger. I still don’t, with the exception of my husband. My parents passed away. My MIL is getting older and she still has to take care of my BIL (cerebral palsy, mental health issues). My husband helps her like many people I know…taking care of aging parents while still raising their own children/adults.
Self-care can be just taking 5 minutes, 20 minutes out of your day before you start your work day or daily routine.
Personally, I wake up an hour before my family does, and start my day. I usually have at least 10 minutes or so to spare to take a deep breath, pray, laugh, cry, or whatever so I can be there for my family.
That’s just my two cents. 😊
Talk is cheap and you will get a lot of free suggestions from people who never had to raise a kid with autism. I don't expect money (unless you're a loaded close relative) but even an offer to volunteer to babysit would have been appreciated. All our relatives lived far away so we never got a babysitter free or not.
@A MyAutismTeam Member, totally agree with you! Sometimes I wish I have a neighbor who is a good friend who also happens to have kids on the spectrum. Because maybe we can take turns babysitting each others' kids and give each other the support and respite that we need.
EXACTLY! “Make sure you take time to care for yourself.” is right up there with “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.” - they are well intentioned for the most part but for crying out loud when I am hanging by a thread don’t give me more work to consider. Just USE YOUR OWN GOD GIVEN BRAIN TO JUMP IN AND HELP - Offer a handful of suggestions! My brain is FULL/EMPTY
@A MyAutismTeam Member, my parents tried. I grew up with grandparents and nannies. My brother and I still wonder how we made it to adulthood, alive. So while I believe that families and relatives should be the best caretakers for kids with special needs, I also think that not all "families" are biological. I've made peace with the fact that my kids' grandparents can't babysit them even just for a couple of hours. This makes the ever-elusive self-care necessity almost impossible. I've learned to rely on good friends and professionals to keep us afloat.
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