1. If you have picky eaters, like mine, bring something on Thanksgiving for them to eat to keep their blood sugars up to help avoid a meltdown because there's nothing there they will eat.
2. If you have a child that gets stressed out with lots of family and chaos around, just be aware and see if you can't provide them with some space. If it's at a relative's house, see if there's a room they can go to that's quiet where they can watch a movie, or play with a favorite toy. My son usually does that for awhile until the other kids and company settle down. Then he comes out when things are quieter. Saves the stress on them and you.

A way to get away from the crowd and chaos is a must. Even if it is just to your car to read a book or the park for a run/walk. Once he was old enough, we always had a code word that J could use when he felt the need to get away to avoid the perception of rudeness. We would handle the diplomacy of a withdrawal taking some of the blame.

And I totally agree with making sure that you have acceptable snack foods available. Also, bring a dish to share at the table, so there is sure to be something your kid will eat when everyone sits down, assuming you can get him to sit when everyone else does. Be prepared for him to balk at sitting down to eat with a bunch of loud, babbling, touchy, feely relative strangers. Try for a smaller table with more familiar people, if possible, and to defend him taking some decompression time while dinner gets started if necessary.

You can explain tradition and expectations to some kids, but not the little or less verbal kiddos. However your kid reacts, always remember that it is supposed to be a fun, happy experience. Putting too much extra pressure or expectation on your child because of the added audience defeats the purpose, and, if it turns into a nothing but a steaming pile of stress and unpleasantness, it will take many, many more positive experiences to wipe it from your child's memory. It is much better to compromise, and tell well-meaning but uninformed relatives to back off, than to insist on the "perfect holiday" and end up with a flaming meltdown fiasco.

Happy Turkey Day!

When we visit family, we spend a lot of time outdoors. Our kids find our relatives very stressful (although, perhaps not in the same way *I* do) and getting out and moving is very helpful. One of ours just heads out the door and we follow. Another goes upstairs to play on the computer in silence.

Always offer a way out to your child. Having a code word is a great suggestion. So is preparing in advance for a way to calm down. Don't put pressure on your child show show off new behaviors or expect a newly potty-trained child to stay dry. Try to think in advance what might go wrong, and prepare for it. When and if it happens, take care of it and keep on going. It isn't the end of the world if some thing happens or a relative decides it is a good time to tell you what they really think is wrong with your child. This all will pass and you (and your child) will survive. Try to prepare by looking at how things will seem to your child. Remember, you know your child best.

This may be helpful: http://laparent.com/article/7-keys-for-a-succes...