Personally, friendship trumps everything else.

Having said that, executive function (organizing and planning) is their challenge, so have you done all the things to help the child get organized? Like containers, or break it up into small steps or teach him about how to group like items? Have you added motivation he will like to get it done? I can't say what you may have already done, but these things have made a world of difference.

We also do a "organize it" thing each weekend-an area that is theirs that is messy. It could be drawers, or closet, or backpack, or desk. By doing a little something regularly it helps prevent a big deal mess.

develop a daily chore or graph for him place it on his door. that Graph would have things he needs to do be fore things he wants to do. Like self care, and Space care his room. those are standard good dicipline's you can start training with a Graph tool, = add rewards = add concequences always and always be consistant. with consistency and a schedule things are much better. it will take weeks, you will get resistance. but he will know you have Clear expectations and when he meets those expctations that are reasonable for him. you wont feel so out of control.

Responsibilities are important..let him know ...if you clean your room,den and bathroom...your friend from school may come over..

I will team up with And clean The room together. My son likes when we do it together because he does not seem overwhelmed.

Try doing the cleaning with him. By starting each bit of the cleaning process you might break his inertia. I often find that once I get him started, he looses his resistance. Don't just do it yourself though.