There was a good article recently about training children to apologize properly. We have been trying the method, and I can't say that it works, but it has at least led to some conversations, rather than just the usual "test-of-wills".
http://www.cuppacocoa.com/a-better-way-to-say-s...

Honestly, you're gonna need to get used to this. My autistic son who is now 14 never shows emotions not one hug or kiss have I ever received from him. When our cat Sam died last year...right in front of his eyes he did not cry or flinch but observed all of us crying, taking mental notes on emotions. This year both of my grandparents died nine weeks apart from each other again no emotion but he did finally say he was sorry that he didn't cry or show emotion, that he just processes things differently...he doesn't cry, he really is upset too. Wow. Anyway, from my experience it doesn't get too much better, but with age truly comes wisdom if nothing else...your child will learn the cues when others are upset or say they are sorry. Eventually with your prompts your child will learn what to say even if you think he or she doesn't care they really do they just cannot put it into words or feel the way we do. I hope this helps and does not let you down their brains work so much differently than ours, nothing can change that but it will take a lot of patience and understanding on your part. He is quite humorous though which is something I enjoy about him given how serious he usually is :)

Thank you for sharing that starfish. That IS helpful!!!! I am sorry you struggle in some of these ways. I often feels so badly for trying to MAKE my son feel/say/do things he simply does not understand. I often wonder how hard it must be to live in a world where people see so many things different than you. God bless you for sharing your insights with me!!! And God bless you on your journey.

Could it be it makes him sad because he knows there is expected emotions in those situations that he just either isn't feeling or doesn't understand what he is feeling? i am on the spectrum as is my daughter and I sometimes feel sad because I do not feel the way other people think I should in certain situations. oh i do hope that makes sense. It does feels bad sometimes to be different, to know that I am different and that things are 'expected' of me that I simply cannot fathom. This is not to say I don't feel things, I do & very deeply, it is just differently and, at times, takes quite a while to figure it out.

My girl says the word but there is no meaning behind it, she only says it because people are suppossed to say it when they have done something 'wrong'. I think I would rather hear a 'oops' than a meaningless sorry over and over.