It's a gas station. People come and go so I don't see it as the worst place for a meltdown. Car seats are great for keeping kids in their place . . . if you can get them in one. It's worse when people start calling the police or stand there making comments. They don't know what's really going on but they think have all the answers.

I pay at the pump to avoid going in the store or having to deal with some idiot calling the cops if I leave my kid in the car for 2 minutes.

Here is what I do. First, sometimes when they are in meltdown mode, they just can't hear you. So, no matter what you are telling them, it is not going to get through. They need to wear themselves out. I have found a couple of things that worked, but by no means is it the magic bullet. Works sometimes, and other times, not so much.

First, when I have the time, I go very still and quiet, and I don't react to my son. When he is capable of hearing again, this disengagement unnerves him. He doesn't like it. He usually starts crying in a different way...so mournful and very sorry. Then we make up. But it takes time sometimes 20-30 minutes. Which brings me to...

When I am in a hurry...I am going to be honest, I don't have a good solution. I speak in a low voice, and I try to engage him in something else or with something else. Jack up the music, pull out a toy, get some food in front of her, ANYTHING! Distract, distract, distract.

One more thing I am going to suggest to you that others might frown upon. Car seats are great, but chances are if you have to drive off without the child snapped in, it is not the end of the world. When the scrutiny and the judgement is coming at you in waves, sometimes, you just need to get out of there. Pile the child into the car and get out of there! Go to where you need to go to get her settled--down a side street, at a rest stop, or even get all the way home. It's OK. You are not a bad mom. That needs to be your mantra. This is not bad parenting; it is neurological development disorder.

Whe my son was young with all his fits,I got these cards from the autism society that mothers can give out to people staring at your situation that explaines what is happening. The were really great and made the people feel small after reading.