Peter,

I had similar issues with my son. We went and saw a therapist about this. She informed us that we need to be on a team and handle the punishments etc. in the same manner. If your son disobeys you then you need to be the one to put him in a timeout and if he is disobeying your wife, she needs to be the once to step up. Also, use short and direct phrases with your son. I found that when I would speak full sentences my son did not understand what I was trying to say. Give 5 seconds before repeating yourself to give your son time to process your request. Then you say do this... (whatever the task is) or timeout. No counting down or second chances, your son will learn that if he isn't getting his way then he will be more prone to listen the first time. It is very important that your wife be on the same page with you.

HI, one thing that has worked for me is that when my son misbehaves, I take away a preferred activity. Taking away my sons iPad and only giving it to him at night after dinner if he behaves good all day has worked great for me. Being nice constantly is not the best way to go. Like typical kids a ASD kid will walk all over you if you let them. I try to treat my son like my typical daughter as much as possible.

We had the same issues in our household, I felt my boyfriend was way to strict and I was way too nice. My son saw right through and would act bad when my boyfriend was not around. We had to learn give and takes and what we wanted to slowly work on first. My son takes about 15 to 30 seconds to process a request. Its all about finding a balance and ways that work for your family. My son is ASD and ADHD so sitting on timeout was useless.. We let him stand but face the wall and as long as he calms himself down and controls his anger he is able to fidget to some extent.

T@cjs042010thanks, I think that is great feedback. about my wife handling the timeouts when my son disobeys me and vice versa. I'll definitely talk to my wife about putting that to use. Thank you and happy new year!