My son was almost 5. The developmental pediatrician kept reminding me kids can only control 2 things- what goes in and where it goes out. And THEY DO.

We tried visual timer, sat him on the toilet every 15 mins (he would hold it and do it after), naked baby (3 separate weeks of vacation, mommy- 0 successes, child- 15 accidents on the carpet each week until I put him back in pull ups), stickers, charts, pleas, but it had to be when he was ready-

A couple of things that really helped in the end- A footstool at the toilet (gives them a sense of security, some don't feel safe with their feet dangling- OT suggestion). This was a big one- our son was terrified of the toilet.
I had to up the ante with the rewards- stickers didn't motivate my son enough- to get him to do it the first time it was a toy he picked out and it stayed in the bathroom in front of the toilet until he succeeded. After the first time we switched to lollipops, again they had to be kept in view of the toilet. The Behavior Consultant even recommended candy or a toy in a clear zip lock bag tacked to the wall in front of the toilet. My son needed to SEE the motivation, not just be told.

Poop was an issue- he would hold it and get constipated. The doctor prescribed Miralax- it's a stool softener on the lowest possible dose.
Again, we upped the ante again for the poop- 6 toys lined up in front of the toilet- each time he pooped he could pick 1.
The other suggestion that was new- as they are sitting on the toilet give them a whistle to blow, encourage them to try to get as loud as possible (or bubbles if auditory issues). It bears down on the muscles you use for a bowel movement.

A couple of good books are "Steps to Independence" and "Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism or Other Developmental Issues".

Hang in there!!!!

I will definitely get the bubbles for him to blow. The whistle would just add more chaos to our household which we do not need! Ha Ha He urinates independently but will not sit on toilet to poop. He has been pooping in tub and then getting cleaned up. Hey-it's better than pooping in his pants! He is 7 and autistic.

Thanks so much Julie. This info was very useful. I'm in the middle of potty training (#2) my almost 5 yo PDD-NOS son. He went a few times last week but this week he has outright refused. I have taken away everything to try and motivate him, especially his adored iPad, but to no avail. I'm stuck! But your words encouraged me to keep on trying!

good suggestions.thanks!

My son is three and I am just now introducing the potty to him. Honestly right now he is making so much progress in his speech and communication that I don't want to push him too much. A year ago he was't talking at all, and now his communicating more then I ever thought he would. I know it is a pain to change his diaper but all good things come in time.