My daughter is 14, and although my situation is a bit different, I have been thinking about the same question. I have been able to get my 10 year old to understand his autism by letting him know that everyone sees things differently. Has different strengths and weaknesses. When you look at people in that manner, you realize that autism can be a strength AND a weakness. Be matter of fact about it. Let her help plan how to show her strengths and shore up the weaknesses. Being involved in the planning gives an automatic confidence boost. There are so many ways to approach this... you just want to approach it in a way that makes her see the positive parts of being Autistic. Also, giving a name to what makes her different can also help her see it as something to overcome. It puts a face to the problems she faces, and gives her a point to aim at. Just explaining what autism is may help with her confidence issues.

No matter how you do it, I wish you luck and hope that you both find a way to turn it into a positive experience.

My 16 year old has Asperger's.....I struggled with this until I realized that my brother's 16 year old has obnoxiousness. Another niece is stubborn and a little confrontational. One relative is OCD. One is a know it all. One is funny as all heck! Get the picture. There is no normal and I treat his Asperger's as just another personality trait. I had my son make a list of all things he liked about himself and then we decided if those things could be attributed to the Asperger's. He wouldn't change those things for anything....he can read and retain a 500 page book in about 1 hour. He gets straight A's in advanced classes. He gets and uses sarcasm very well and to his advantage. He has a great sense of humor. He cares about his personal appearance but doesn't obsess. He knows everything about computers. Nine out of ten times he will beat the computer when playing chess. He obeys ALL the rules. There are things he listed....and are also traits of Asperger's but so what....they are personality traits, learning styles, etc. From my point of veiw....he is a little disorganized, puts a time limit on social events, forgets what he went in the kitchen for, and can 't find anything in his room until I get up and look for it but most of those traits are in my so called normal main stream child. I did my very best to make my child understand at a very early age that there is nothing wrong with being unique. Most everyone is special to someone....very few people get to be unique. He is comfortable with an Asperger's diagnosis because he gets the fact that it is just another personality trait....and we go with it!!!!!

Don't explain to her that autism is a disability for one. Start by pointing out all the things she is good at. Talk about her likes, dislikes, and interests. Autism is only a disability to those who don't have it and don't know how to deal with it. This is a friend's favorite quote-“Disability is just an 'ability' in 'dis'guise!” Son's quote at age 7. If you have that attitude, your daughter will be able to accept her diagnosis very well. Don't let her use it for a crutch and just get by. Most children with autism are very smart, it's just a matter of finding their way of learning and expressing themselves not ours. If this doesn't help any, email me at [[email: [[email: [[email: (Email address can only be seen by the question and answer creators) I'll contact some other mothers of autistic children I know and see what they suggest.
Edwina

I have a 14 year old with multiple diagnoses as well. One of them is Asperger's. Because they know they are different it is often better to just concentrate on the positive aspects and try to find a social group for teens which is sometimes hard to do. She goes to church but always wants to leave before small group. I have her going to therapy and I try to find ways she can express herself. My daughter likes to draw or write so if I can get her to do more of that she can cope a little better, but she really struggles with social interactions with peers.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/autismaspergerspdd-...