Since your son is verbal, you can start writing social stories to help your son reason through different scenarios such as being late to school. Carol Grey has written several books on the topic and she has a website.

See if you can find an OT that does the "how does my engine run" program. It helps with regulation. Also start modeling and have him imiate calm behavior. We used taking big breaths and clasping our hands together. Practice it first when he's calm. Then in mildly stressful situations and finally in heavy stress. If he's really agiated, we have him lie on his bed and I put a piece of cloth over his head. Neurotherapy helps a lot with regulation. We also use a massage therapist to show him what it feels like to be relaxed.

Thanks Jill-Longenecker. I appreciate the ideas.

I should clarify. We were not in a car accident. He was afraid that was the reason why we were late. I was in a car accident several years ago, perhaps that was why he made that association.

I am not sure if he has a HAPPY PLACE? I don't think his skills to employ for self-regulation are very well developed but perhaps I can work with his counselor on this topic. Thank you for the suggestion.

This sounds like a very shocking incident for anyone - car accidents are a nightmare. Your son may need help to calm himself and feel safe again or just some time to let the adrenaline wear off. Does he have a HAPPY PLACE? A place or thing he likes to do that makes him feel regulated? Has he learned to use that tool? At least with help he was able to explain it to you.