I had an OT say, "That's not academically necessary." when I asked for help with this daily task. However, I did find help in a cub scout book - tying shoes is surprisingly a difficult task for some NT kids too. Like anything else, we had to break it down into very small steps and demonstrate, hand over hand, then withdraw support as he did more and more himself. It helps to use verbal description during the activity and think of it from his viewpoint. There are a couple different ways to tie a common shoelace. Youtube might give you another angle.

Although my son CAN tie his laces, he chooses not to out of sheer laziness, I believe. So I buy the twisted laces from Walmart when I see them. They twisty-wrap around each other to secure the shoes. Easier for everyone.

We bought my nearly 8 year old son a book with laces on it and his OT works with him but truth be told, we really haven't gotten anywhere past the first step. His fingers seems to get in the way of the loop part. Let me know if you find a "magic" way of figuring it out please! (We haven't really worked with the book yet, he got it for Christmas and I don't even know where it is at the moment!)

Ben struggled with this mightily, but his brother Dustin, eleven years older than he is, helped us a lot with this one. Dustin was in JROTC so he wears boots most of the time, either combat style boots or hiking boots, and they both have long laces. I think what drove Ben to want to learn to tie his shoes was seeing his big brother do it and Dustin showed Ben how over and over, as did I. When he got too frustrated I told him I'd finish it and we'd try again next time and at some point he just sorted it out. We talked about it a lot, I mean A LOT, about things like tension and tails and double tying. :) My Dad tried to show him a different way of doing it and it was funny because he humored my Dad, then later told me he didn't want to do it wrong. :)

The biggest and most important part of teaching Ben to tie his shoes was being patient with him. He did it a lot later than other kids, three years or so, but now it's like a reflex he doesn't really even think about. Every time we bought him shoes we had the, 'Velcro?', discussion and we bought him school shoes that were velcro until he figured it out. I don't know that anyone ever said anything to him about his shoes, but he didn't want to wear velcro shoes to school after third grade or so.

Mine is nearly 12 and doesn't know how and does not care to try and learn.

My 8 year old daughter struggles with tying her shoelaces as well. Luckily, her OT is working with her and she's getting better every week. For simplicity, though, we just buy shoes with velcro straps. It's easier on all of us that way. Hope it helps!