My son was very angry and violent at 4! He actually got expelled from his preschool. Well, they changed management, and my son was the problem kid the teachers wanted out. He would throw chairs (not at people). We did not have a Dx back then, or we'd have handled him differently.

It turned out, his anger and frustration was due (IMO) to his black and white, rigid thinking and sensory issues. If he was told he would get a turn at something and the time ran out, or a kid cut in line, it would drive him nuts, and if the teacher didn't understand or care, he would really get angry. Also SENSORY was huge, though we didn't know it, poor guy. Loud, chaotic classrooms and bright lights led to irritability, and then anything would set him off. Sometimes fabrics would set him off.

I guess what I am saying is, find out what triggers him and work with that. Is it a particular TV show grates on him? Certain smells? That was another huge one, especially smelling spicy foods. A particular activity or situation?

As a last resort, we recently tried Prozac and I have to admit, we were extremely fearful and stayed home to monitor him 24/7 for 3 weeks when he started taking it at 11 yo (he is 12 now). We even installed a baby monitor in case he freaked out in the night. It has truly helped him, and he has had very little side effect. The difference is huge! BUT when my husband was prescribed Prozac, he (hub) ended up in ER with severe panic attacks. Medication is a personal choice and not to be taken lightly, but it CAN really help. (I am not sure I would have done that at 4 yo though... try to control his environment first!)

Good luck... I so know what that is like. His older brother used to be scared of him... He is still aggressive, but not nearly to the same degree!!!

We saw a huge difference in anger from neurofeedback training. No more throwing things and the time between episodes increased. We also used the EmWave to teach breathing to calm down. The lights on the EmWave were very captivating and made him want to practice.

Do they allow kids there to take toys or blankets? The school my son Elliott goes to allows toys. He takes something different each day. The only rules are the toys can not make noise or have lights. So we have to take batteries out. Which is fine by my son. It helps them feel better having something from home they are more familiar with. The bus driver and aid have small blankets on the bus that they lay on the kids laps when they sit down. We actually donated some blankets this year. Have something with the kids from home does help calm them down a little. My son does have 'A' moments and we tell him to "FOCUS" and it helps him. We are blessed with the way Elliott's school system. Me and his teacher text so we have good communication with them. I hope something works for him.