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I'm making one more big push this year for our nephew as I believe the services he received in school and through what I could find were not nearly enough, Social Skills Training, language skills, mostly. But I'm wondering if after that, as long as he can function at a job and be happy, if I can just accept that this is it, as good as its gonna get, he's 18 now, so maybe by 20? I'm thinking. Has anyone been able to do that? Might be better?

March 21, 2013
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Answer Summary

Members offered heartfelt support to someone questioning when to stop fighting for school services for their 18-year-old nephew with autism,... Read more

Members offered heartfelt support to someone questioning when to stop fighting for school services for their 18-year-old nephew with autism, with the overwhelming consensus being that it's okay to shift focus from academics to practical life skills and community-based learning while still advocating within reason. Several members shared their own experiences moving children to vocational programs, community-based instruction (CBI), and volunteer placements at places like bakeries and zoos, emphasizing the importance of building on each child's strengths and interests rather than forcing unrealistic academic goals. A recurring theme was finding peace in letting go of what won't happen while still fighting for what's truly needed, using common sense to assess whether a school has the capability and willingness to help, and recognizing that life skills like using transportation, managing money, and gaining real-world work experience often matter more than algebra.

A MyAutismTeam Member

My opinion is to just use common sense. The first question I ask myself is ... does the school have the know-how to do what you are asking? If not, could they hire the know-how? Third are they open to that? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you have a fighting chance that it could happen WITH THIS SCHOOL. If the answer is no to all three, then you know that even with your rights of due process, you won't realize the benefits to your win until your nephew is already graduated. If that's the case, the next question is does your nephew need this to have a productive happy adulthood? If the answer to that is yes, then start searching elsewhere to see if you can find it. It may be that you want to hire a private consultant. Or you could try RDI which is really designed for a home situation. You may end up spending less effort doing the work yourself than fighting a school that is not capable of doing it because they don't know how and are resistent to learning how.

March 22, 2013
A MyAutismTeam Member

If he loves photography maybe that would be good at a vo tech school. We are getting into the art community now and it's interesting but my son has sold many painting and we got a contact for maybe getting into stores. I feel if he can support himself with something he loves you need to help and try to find every way possible. We even started his own website.

March 22, 2013
A MyAutismTeam Member

We were at the special services school but when I asked where and when will he start going out to places to volunteer or where will the votech lead him after school, I was told an assembly line job. That wasn't good enough. We found a CBI program at a local school district and they take each child's strengths and likes and try and find a job for them out in the community. My son is an artist so they ran with that and he volunteers 1 x week at a local shop rite decorating cakes and he volunteers 1 x week doing various jobs at the Philadelphia zoo. I would ask the people at the vocational tech school what opportunities and experiences will they give him to use his training in the real world.
I found out doing the community base teaching and actually going out in public is giving him experience and knowledge on what is expected in the work force. If you ask you will be surprised how many places are willing to have people with disabilities volunteer for work experiences.

March 22, 2013
A MyAutismTeam Member

have you looked into any sort of vocational training?

March 22, 2013
A MyAutismTeam Member

Funny how we started expecting academics and then.finally we get over that stigmatism and focus on everyday lessons. Sometimes I think my other children would benefit from those lessons too. When do we really use algebra in everyday life. That was a tough semester. No more just money based. I hope he gets into vo tech.

March 22, 2013

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