My middle son was diagnosed at the age of 4 and was declined services (except speech) because he was well behaved. We didn't fight the issue at the time because he was in a really good preschool and we probably wouldn't have moved him anyway. When he entered Kindergarten we started pushing for services but were constantly told he's a good boy he'll be OK. Half way through the year the school finally opened their eyes to what we (and his teacher too)were saying and gave him additional services. They came to realize he spent all day in the corner trying to remove himself from all the sensory input. So my son basically lost half a year because he was well behaved. But the battle didn't stop there the school placed him in a self contained classroom, he was no longer allowed to have lunch and recess with what few friends he had (he had become particularly close with one other little boy). We continued to fight and eventually got what we wanted. He is now in an inclusion setting. So fight for what you know your son needs. It might seem to take forever but let them know you are there and don't ever give up. And you might want to get potty training into his IEP that way it has to be addressed. It is a critical life skill so it shouldn't be hard to get it placed into his IEP.

Actually its better to approach this with identifying your son's needs rather than talking about the other student. You can not negotiate services for your son based on other students.... but on your son's need. Complaining about another student or the classroom makes you seem whiny. Likewise, don't let the school district use that as an excuse. Instead keep the team focused on your son.

Make a list of his lack of progress before the meeting and then become the squeaky wheel. Talk about your son's REGRESSION in the potty training and other areas (regression is a scary word to school districts). Try to get the IEP team to brainstorm to combat the regression. Go back and document the regression.

If they continue to downplay your son's issues start playing hardball. Request a one-to-one aide for your son as a possible solution. Request professional evaluation so you can identify his needs and document his baseline. These needs can include certain environmental needs such as a quiet classroom.

btw, Read the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" ... its the best book in learning how to work within the school IEP system and get your child what they need.

Your son's IEP should contain toilet training task and there should be adequate teacher aids to achieve those IEP objectives. An advocate could help you argue this at IEP meetings. We had good luck getting a free advocate from the local ARC to attend our IEP meetings when our kids were not getting adequate services. Hope this helps and good luck.

My son is the one having the tantrums but is "to smart" so right there with you. Their success should not disqualify them for help in other areas.

I agree never use one student as an example over another it will not get you anywhere and it will make you look like you are just jealous.

You have to use your own child s abilities and deficiencies to get what you need. An IEP is a contract that they have to follow and if they are not doing it you have to hold them to it. If the principle is not getting you anywhere then you need to speak to the districts director of special ED.

You need to threaten them with a lawyer or and advocate and often just the threat will be enough to get the job done.