Our son will be living at home and commuting to a small private college twelve miles away. They have a Dean of Freshman and we have met with him and various professors.
Fortunately his grades were good enough to get a good scholarship or we would have trouble affording the tuition.
I have some concerns academically but more about how he will connect socially. He had two friends one from 4th grade and one from 6th grade all thru high school and neither will be at his school.
We didn't even consider him living in a dorm or apartment. Maybe in a year or two.
We have spent a lot of time on campus and had him drive the route and walk his schedule several times-this helped a little in high school.

Kate has just finished her first semester and has done so well! She has learned to adapt. We Skype daily or when she is bored or upset. It works for her to be able to "see" me vs just talk on the phone. We are both learning how to navigate this new stage of life and so far so good!

(Cont. part 2)

We live within walking distance to the largest 4 year college in our state and we’re hoping her grades will improve enough for her to continue to live at home and go back to finish her degree there. It’ll be tough because she’s still resistant to my guidance on how to organize, get good grades, etc.

We’re committed to helping her get her Bachelor’s degree but it’ll be a tough road. I’d love to hear someone else’s suggestions about how to get past this. I think she’d be more open to having someone else help her but I’m not positive she’ll let ANYONE help her, and even if she did, the group I found which does this is WAY expensive. It’s ridiculous! She’s just not as ready as she seemed to be at the end of her senior year. If we could just get rid of the constant stream of boyfriends that would help, I think…. Especially those with serious problems of their own! Our Aspie girl studies others and picks up on all their foibles and flaws, too. It’s like watching Comedy Central and studying their behavior to emulate. Not good.

This is still a mystery to us, how to get her successfully through her last 2.5 years in college. Please offer suggestions if you have them!!

Thanks for listening…
Karen

I have mixed feelings about college issues you raise. My daughter went away for two years to a state university and we had her in her own (nice!) apartment. She did fine -- even got into a sorority, amazing! -- but her grades tanked her second year, due to a combination of a new boyfriend with his own problems (alcohol, depression, bipolar, Jeez! Just what she DIDN’T need!). She had problems knowing what to do, how to organize, what was expected by the professors, which parts of the assignment were important and which were not, etc. Some profs were understanding, most were not. This university had groups for freshman what they used to call English and that was a nightmare. I was SO MAD! I thought we got rid of stupid groups in high school! This group didn’t believe she had Asperger’s; the prof had to confirm it. One guy gave her tons of crap. (Total jerk!) She was late a lot with assignments due to her executive skill function deficits. She's very bright and has great social skills for an Aspie, but has limits in exec function and she was less than forthcoming to me about her problems. (She also has anxiety disorder.) The disability office was not that helpful. Fine with paperwork but limited practical assistance, and my daughter just wouldn't go herself to get the help the University offered (i.e., help organizing the writing and research for papers, etc.). It was very frustrating and expensive. We brought her home and she finally found an entry level job in her field (she wants to be a pet and she's being trained as a groomer and loves working!). So far, it's okay vis a vis work but they recently want her to get her new psychiatrist to tell them how to accommodate her disability in the workplace. Now THAT’S a complicated issue, to figure that out and explain it!!! Katie has some of it figured out herself but she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. My goal is to get her back to taking classes at the local community college. Here in Virginia if you get the two year Associate’s degree at a certain grade point level, you have an automatic admission to certain 4 year state schools, which is such a great deal cause it’s TONS cheaper this way! We’re hoping she’ll take a few courses while she’s working (she really enjoys work, especially with dogs and cats, which is her Aspie “focus.” (cont.)

Each college should have a department for disabled students. You bring any relevant paperwork to them. The IEP or a 504 plan. Then you get very specific with them. Tell them exactly what you think she will need.
You need to advocate there just like in High School. If you think she needs someone to be with her then state that. If she needs someone to write down and take notes tell them that. When she settles in then keep up to date on if they follow through.
Oh, also make sure that she knows if a teacher gives homework online or in class or both. My son did not find that out until too late and got F's in classes.