We have done more than a year of VB/ABA and though it was very helpful with respect to all lot of verbal skills and some behaviors, I didn't find it particular useful for improving social skills. You can try behaviour approach for some behaviors and hopefully more speech, but I would also looking into programs/books such as Talkability and Relationship Development Intervention which are more parent based and focus entirely on social communication. We are doing that now and wish we had started that at the same time as ABA last year.

If you feel he is stressed because of his heavy schedule, it may help to be sure that you spend a little time every day playing with him to allow him some safe haven to release negative emotions. See Playful Parenting, Floortime model and RDI (mentioned above).

Honestly I would focus my time and money on behavior therapy over the other therapies if you feel you have to choose. ABA will help them stay in task, communicate more effectively and be more ready to learn. A child who can't follow simple directions isn't going to get the optimal benefit out if the other therapies until they can.

My daughter has the same issues. .. I struggle with daycare because they can't handle her

Thanks everyone for the input i am new at all this. I have not found any aba therapists near me yet I do have a great university that is where he attends the autism program and they are great. But I did mention to them I would like to receive the other therapy but haven't heard back yet. I just do not want to over do him, we go from 6;30 am until 7;30 pm m-f and have now added saturday for phyiscal therapy as well. we go to church on sunday and i dont want to overload him.