When you describe the situation is sounds like to me that your child is experiencing severe anxiety episodes. ( melt downs to the point of physical distress.) That also stresses out the parents it is hard to determine what is going on or what to do..

Investigate the possibility of some physical issues. Does your child suffer with constipation issues GI or digestive issues? headache or body aches, sensory seeking ? head banging issues? sleep problems?

. I wonder if you are using any meds like Risperdon, or Zoloft, to curb the anxiety and aggression. Talk to your Dx about this, and have a psychologist weigh in on the matter. along with the ABA I would continue that, stay consistant even when it seems like your child is doing worse, many times that is like making it over the hill just to see the good on the other side! hang in there Mamma ! We know it is difficult to watch and know just your child is experiencing, but you are teaching him to center and self regulate through the anxiety and through any discomfort, try to investigate any underlying physical issues. Stay the course it will pay off.

Thanks @A MyAutismTeam Member . That was my concern mainly. I don't think he should be made to get so upset he vomits his meal up. Then she told me not to clean it up instantly, she says it's apart of the consequences of being defiant and he needs to experience it. My husband and I both agreed that this was extreme. His behavior specialist doesn't implement this either. The director came for an observation visit and she said to do this. Needless to say I'm not.
Other than that it was stated the behaviors will crease before it gets better. We do carry it out after the therapy is over. Only thing his aggression only rears it's head during ABA.

No he's non verbal. He is in the process of getting a speech technology device. He is learning how to use it in speech therapy. His own device should arrive in December.
I talked to his behavior specialist and we went over the goals and I'm okay with it. I just don't agree with vomit left on the carpet for a long period of time. I get why it needs to be but this is the only thing I won't comply with.
The objective in this type of therapy is to do away with aggressive behaviors. He gets so worked up he puks. It's not always but occasionally he will. I know it sounds harsh to all you new comers but aggression can be devastating in your child's social and family life. ABA therapy can lesson these behaviors by using certain techniques. It's not abusive or mean in anyway. My son will vomit when he wants to get his way. But my concern was I didn't want to leave it on the carpet for a long period of time.
I was a lil confuse when the director came for an observation but I'm ok now. Also I wanted to know if anyone had success with this type of therapy.

Thanks @A MyAutismTeam Member! The link has great information on behavior.