My son is 3 as well and I don't hide that he is autistic but I also don't talk about it unless it is affecting something going on in our lives. For example, I don't use autism as an excuse for him and his behaviors but I do explain to people why he is affected by it in certain situations. As the saying goes, "I have autism, but autism doesn't have me." They are different but the best thing we can do is to teach them and others is that is ok to be different.

My son is 6 and verbal. When he started questioning things about why he's different is when I told him he had autism. I casually addressed it saying that it's how he responds to things and how we try to help him. Autism is nothing to be ashamed of. It's part of him, but not entirely him.

@A MyAutismTeam Member - Not seeing a response doesn't mean he doesn't have some understanding. When interacting with him, keep statements short and clear, but also using language and tone that respects the possibility that he just.. might... be... brilliant. There are quite a few out there who don't speak but once they mastered alternative communication methods (signing, communication board, keyboarding, etc.) they were finally able to show what was cooking between those ears all that time.

Telling him about autism can also help him relax about himself, even if he doesn't share back with you at this time.

"Autism means seeing lots of things, and knowing lots of things. It also means that talking and sharing with other people is very hard to do. Other people often don't make sense. You are different, and that can be good. Seeing lots of things, and knowing lots of things, is good. One day, we will find a way so you can share what you think, if you want to share. Let's try doing things, too. Let's do them together."

Yes, your child may or may not be bright... but since you don't know, err on the side of high expectations. Believe in him.

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It's easier to make the decision not to "tell" them directly the closer to the low function end of the spectrum they are because, for some, someone else will always advocate for them so knowing will not make much difference. The more high functioning they are and more able to advocate and defend themselves they are the more they need to know so they can speak on their own behalf.

I believe that telling your child is essential. They already are aware they are different. Knowing the term, what it means (seeing the world in a different way, and showing feelings in a different way, that confuses some people and can make the world confusing), and why teachers and therapists are teaching certain skills, builds a person with any difference's self esteem. I'm ok. I'm just different. I learn different things and experience different things and this is what it is called. Works wonders.