Need more help. Is there a place in Dallas Texas area that me and my daughter can go to for observation to get help?

RHP is definitely on the right track. When my son first started head banging, we made the mistake of rushing over to try to redirect him. The next day, he did it even more often, because he wanted the attention, and didn't really know any other way to get it.

Eventually, we had to act like we were ignoring the behavior. And we had to do it for a long time. (We would sneak a pillow underneath his head while we looked the other way.)

There are a couple of general rules to follow. They don't always work, but they are the best place to start.

First, try to figure out the cause. Some times it is as simple as allergies in a certain environment. Sometimes kids "hold it together" all day at school, but the stress builds up all day, and they fall apart at home.

Usually there is a cause behind meltdowns. In our case, it is usually some kind of frustration. Either he was trying to do something and failing, or he was expecting a certain activity and didn't get it.

The second thing to remember is to offer the "bribe" long before the meltdown starts. If you redirect a child before a meltdown, you might be able to prevent it. Once the meltdown starts, you kind of have to let it run its course.

With my son, we can offer him a reward to calm down, as long as the meltdown hasn't started. Once it starts, it doesn't matter if we offer rewards or not, he doesn't have enough control to manage his own emotions.

Our new method is to try to change the subject during a meltdown. Once we can talk him into changing the subject, we know he is back in control, and we can use rewards to redirect.

I witnessed a therapist use a surprisingly effective method to teach him to calm himself. She made a few simple requests that he could not follow without altering his behavior. For example, she asked him to give her a "high five" because he had his eyes closed.

It was an easy request for him, because high fives are mostly neutral. But he had to open his eyes to comply. Once he opened his eyes, she asked him to follow her into another room. Again, this was an easy request, but he could not comply while flailing on the floor.

Only after he had demonstrated control over his own actions did she return to the original task. It was a surprisingly effective way to redirect a meltdown.

I completely agree with rhp. Iused the bear hugs with sosoothing sounds and reassuring words. This helpsthem klearn to self soothe. It worked wonders. Now we still have a lot of behaviour issues especially since he is 17 but we are abke to work through it. It's often frustration and anxiety and a lack of understanding on the childs part. But as parents we need to understand our childs needs to. Educate yourself as much as possible, get reinforcements like ABA therapy. Be consistent, always, always reward good behaviour no matter how small, and never reward the negative behaviors.