It can be stressful to deal with IEPs! My child's is pretty simple right now since he is young, it just has goals they would like him to achieve. I read over them and agreed. I know in Indiana where I live, they offer workshops to help you learn your rights, laws, and also have advocates that can come to IEP meetings to make sure you are not getting messed over. Also look into www.wrightslaw.com. It is a HUGE resource to help parents with all of these things! Hope it helps and stay strong!!!

It sounds like you need someone to help you advocate for your son. If not a BCBA, then maybe someone from Raising Special Kids or the local chapter of the Autism Society of America? Do you have access to anyone in your area who could go over the laws with you and help come up with a plan to address all of these issues in the IEP meeting? Our BCBA does all of that for us here.

I just realized that I didn't post the link I mentioned in my answer. My daughter is sick and I'm a little sleep deprived. Here is the link: http://www.bacb.com/index.php?page=100153

Tell them that you want them to keep a daily A-B-C Chart...for at least 90 days...

http://www.ncld.org/learning-disability-resourc...

It is a chart to show what was occurring BEFORE the behavior occurred - what was the behavior (i.e. biting, slapping, lunging at someone, hitting self). and what was the consequence, (sent to quiet room, walked around with teacher outside to calm down, sent to computer lab...What happened after the behavior.

You, and they, cannot do anything without this info.

It may show you that the child acts out only at one person.(dislikes the person? self-defense for unobserved prior actions? hates the sound of the persons hearing aid?)

It may show you that the child acts out at the same time each day (hunger? bladder infection? tired after recess? hates leaving computer lab?)

It may show you that the child is doing the behavior to get the expected result. (My daughter used to hit other students so she could get the sole attention of a beloved Special ed classroom aide.)

The chart will show you what is going on...

I do this at home, too. We realized that our daughter was throwing tantrums on Saturday mornings to get taken out for a ride in the big car on weekends, a favorite activity.

Good luck!

Her recommendation is: Parent Training and Information Center in WV. http://www.wvpti.org/ They are like the Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center here in NC.