My personal feeling is that if your son is comfortable sharing he has autism with others, this is great. Autism is a part of who he is and he should not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. However, it is hard to predict how others will react to this news, so I can understand your husband's hesitation. If you talk to him about waiting to share his autism with others, I would try to frame it in a way that still values his uniqueness and does not make him feel that autism makes him "less".

@A MyAutismTeam Member Great post!

I think your son's response was remarkably mature, informative and showed he was confident with who he was. I don't know him, but I have observed my daughter doing the same and those on receiving end being very accepting of her candidness and the communication going very well.

My daughter looks at her autism as a nationality more than a disability, it has taken a long time but she appreciates the benefits of how the autism mind works. She used to go to the Life skills class in her old high school and read to the non-verbal kids, this was how they rewarded her for being good. When the kids were upset, Michelle could calm them down when the teachers couldn't - she told them the following:

" You may be educated but I think like they do, just because they don't talk doesn't mean they aren't processing faster/better than you. They feel, just like everyone else but you don't know how to talk to them - I do, It doesn't take words." This was coming from the kid who drove all the teachers in 504 special ed, not life skills crazy, who would do the work she only wanted to, forget to turn it in, have meltdowns etc, but her compassion and ability to communicate to non-verbal individuals on the spectrum was such an insight not only into my daughter but also into the students in life skills. The teachers, parents, adults needed to let all these individuals have a little more rope to do things their way - after all, we had been cramming these social skills, tool sets down their throats since they had been little kids!!!!

Another point about your son talking about himself, his name, and that is has autism - it opens the door to educate people about autism - to eradicate the ignorance out there that people have when it comes to autism. I myself only knew of Rainman the movie before my daughter's diagnosis. Imagine, the person who interacted with your son, their takeaway - autism - this polite kid Sam, who goes to xxxx school, likes xxxx etc etc etc.

It is my hope that our kids that are verbal enough, high functioning enough, can take the baton and advocate, speak for those who cannot, because who better to spread awareness than those who are afflicted with autism first-hand? They are the ones who can make the changes for the future. They are capable of being productive, producing, contributing members of society. We have to let go - raise up their abilities and down play the disabilities.

Thank you again for posting such a killer story - you made my day!!!

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A MyAutis...

My son does the same thing also. It's just part of who he is. It's not some dirty little secret that I feel we need to hide.

My ASD daughter has no idea what autism nor could she express herself enough to get her point across. So far few people really understand so we just get blank looks or a general look of sympathy. I really don't to care to discuss our family medical problems and rather people just leave us alone since they don't pay our bills can't recall the last time we got any kind of a break.

This trip with autism has just begun and I'm already tired of hearing "Yeah, but she's smart, right?" attitude. It's the gift that we didn't ask for nor can we return it. Is there a bright side? Quitting our jobs and leaving our home to move out-of-state may somehow be better in showing us a new way to live but in the short run is a rejection of what we are facing and willingness to try anything else at this point. I'm no gambler especially when it comes to a job and having two preschool kids but I don't see things improving. I'm not looking for a miracle cure but I'd at least like get my daughter a chance at ABA therapy that's affordable in a lot of places just not here. It just seems stupid that supposedly the best therapy out there is not available. I don't have to live with ASD forever but my daughter will so it's a question of priorities.

Let him tell anyone he wants. It's nothing to be ashamed of and might actually help others understand his behavior better if he tells them outright.
By telling him he shouldn't tell people that, he might misunderstand that you are telling him his condition is wrong or embarrassing rather than him understanding that talking to strangers about medical issues is rarely appropriate. It really depends on if you think he would understand the difference.