My daughter just began preschool, and I too was torn on what to do. I decided that as long as it isn't too stressful, or making things worse (even if in the beginning it is a little rough with the "newness") the social interaction is important for her; especially at this early age in her life. Socially interacting on a regular basis has not only been important because she needs to improve on her social skills, but her being able to watch neurotypical kids and learn to imitate her peers was also important to me. Last, but not least, it is a great way for us to begin the routine and experiences for when she enters into grade school. Currently her preschool is only 10hrs a week, 2.5hrs a day/ 4 days a week. Well good luck, and I am sure in the end you will make the right choice for your son; remember you can always change your mind no matter the initial choice.

We are in a similar situation in that we have taken our 5 year old out of school to focus on his in home program one on one. However, after a recent assessment a mom of a 20 year old on the spectrum gave us some great feedback. She stressed the importance of making she he get's into some sort of social group with neurotypical children b/c social is 1/3 of his disorder. And he needs that little girl bothering him for that toy to u/s how to function with others in order to set that social foundation. B/C of his behavioral needs we plan on working in home ABA but we are going to try to get his social needs met by facilitating social groups. Hope this helps!

Our daughter goes to preschool 2-3 days a week with her ABA therapist and I think the socialization and peer modeling have been valuable?

Good point on the therapist being able to attend preschool as well - we did this over the summer and it is impossible to do this in his kindergarten class (not allowed). I would use non verbal as a threshold - more important for learning is actually ability to imitate. Our son would completely different at school setting than at home as well - he imitated other and over time understood the rules and routines. We always used to be shocked to see our son at school - how he used to line up, wait for his turn, sit quietly, etc. - something he never did at home with us (despite our repeated requests) but did at school without anyone instructing.

my son isn't very verbal and is far from independent. I feel like he would probably have a hard time with sitting down and directions