I believe that autism is a "catch all" term for symptoms associated with a bunch of very different underlying biomedical conditions. It's like "fever" in that the cause and treatment for one child's symptoms is not necessarily the same as another child's. There are some kids, like my daughter, who started showing the signs VERY early on and never had an regression. Then there are kids who developed normally at first and then showed a loss of skills. Some kids you can look at 1 or both parents and recognize the signs of Asperger's. Other kids are the only ones in their family "on the spectrum". I could go on, but you get the point.

I believe that we are doing the right things to help our son, but are open to new ideas, especially as he changes. We are trying to get him as far as he can and believe that the sky is the limit. We hope to give him the tools he needs to some day live a happy and independent life. If that is not possible, we will still find the best arrangement that we can for him. We hope that he does not need assistance, but are glad to know that it is available. It seems like some of the assisted living is becoming more progressive and promoting more independence. We will help him use his strengths and find his niche.

The reactions you mention are more negative and scary than I think about it. Just meeting the autism diagnostic criteria doesn't warrant that. My son clearly meets them (299.0, not aspergers), my father and I probably did too especially as kids - it's a real difference that requires going about school / work / life differently but it isn't some kind of tragedy.

I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but meeting the diagnostic criteria BY ITSELF is not a reason to be looking for medical problems or feeling too bad.

I probably did worry my mother a lot when I was a kid but getting super upset in the way the word "autism" upsets people sometimes would have been unwarranted. And changing my foods and vitamins would have been sort of dehumanizing, like "maybe your personality is caused by gluten."

Again, this is just one experience. Autism is not a single condition it's just a checklist of behaviors.

My point is look at your child individually and not at what you read on the internet about autism.

If your child does seem to have a medical problem then address it, but the autism criteria alone do not mean this is true, and there are likely many DIFFERENT medical issues that relate to autism.

If the real upsetting thing is say epilepsy, then autism is not really the right label for why we're upset.

Biomed may work for children higher on the spectrum or children that have other medial conditions but for a severely affected non verbal child, a change in diet or added supliments is going to do little to help. The only thing that is going to help is intense therapy, and communication skills. Meds to take the edge of work to if they are needed.

All of the children affected by autism are different and different treatments work for different children. There are proven treatments that work for most but never all completely. My opinion is that if you find something that works good for you keep doing it, I just dont like it when people push expensive treatments on others that are already barely able to afford what they are already doing and making them think that even if it is not showing signs of working that you did not do it long enough and that is why it did not work.

I don't want to offend anyone what works for one won't work for all is all I am saying.

I have two children on the spectrum and my wife and I are in full acceptance of this fact. I am not going to get into the biomed debate because it is not what this post is about.

What I do know is that if you have autistic children you first have to accept that your children are different and that life is going to be a struggle for both you and them, and it may be lifelong depending on the severity of the autism. I also know that if you want your children to do better then you have to be willing to sacrifice on their behalf. If you are not willing to give up everything for your child then you are doing them a disservice.

Life is not easy and I can attest to that. My wife and I have given up everything for our children and we go without so they do not have to. I have written about this and hid nothing hoping that people would be helped by my story. Knowing others have been through or are going through the same thing as yourself is very helpful.