Most of the time at that age you have to let them take their course once they have started. The key is to try to find the triggers and prevent them.

Most times these tantrums are caused by lack of communication and the fact that the child can't express themselves. If this is the case ABA and learning sign language or using PECS can help.

When our daughter was really upset we would get her in the car and drive while either playing music or putting on one of her favorite DVD's and she would calm down.

We eventually needed meds for sleep and to help with the aggression even with the language skills and the ABA but three is a little young so you kind of have to work through it sometimes.

My 3yo daughter is very aggressive towards her baby sister, and to a lesser extent toward me and my husband/her dad. At this point the baby isn't safe around her without an adult right there to intervene before anything happens. Time out isn't working. I'm trying to get it worked out with ABA and her other therapists. Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of it and get the behavior corrected, but I've been told to expect it to get worse before it gets better.

I don't have a solution to offer. I'm only just starting to work on it myself. I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences for support. I guess all I really have to say is that you're not alone.

If you can get ABA they will help teach you. You can try reading about " function of the behavior" that is an ABA term you will hear a lot. also we use S E A T to decipher the problem/tantrum
S- Sensory Issue E- Escape your demands
A- acces to some thing / attention T- tangible item (as in they want a praticular item
Once we started doing this in our heads during melt downs it helped. The trick is to not give into the tantrum lol easier said then done....

As a behavior therapist I agree with @A MyAutismTeam Member good advice

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

Hello Jessls1022,

I second what @A MyAutismTeam Member and @A MyAutismTeam Member said about figuring out what is causing the tantrums (the function of the behavior) and getting ABA assistance.

I have a nonverbal 19 year old son with autism. Over the years I realized that it is very important for us autism parents to educate ourselves about ABA principles, especially how to use positive reinforcement to increase desired behaviors. When you really understand how to use positive reinforcement effectively, you can deal with most problems promptly and competently.

For us, what worked astonishing well was learning how to deliver precise and intensive reinforcement for desired behaviors. The method we used, TAGteach (Teaching with Acoustical Guidance), is an excellent, effective, and no-cost method, based on ABA principles. It is easy to use for de-escalating tantrums, increasing calm behaviors, and teaching functional skills. Your son gets mad (that’s okay), but he doesn’t need to stay mad and engage in destructive behaviors. When you know how to use positive reinforcement effectively, you can quickly and easily calm him and help him learn that, “Hey, even if I get mad, Mom will help me lower my emotional reactions.”

My son used to engage in the behaviors you describe. Now he is a big, strong teenager who loves life and loves to go out and have a good time. He is cheerful, loving and cooperative.

You can give your 3-year old the opportunity to learn calm behaviors at a nice early age. I’m sure he is a sweetie-pie deep down, and he would rather be happy and have you be happy. You can achieve this for him. Please see: http://autismchaostocalm.com/what-do-you-do-whe...

Best wishes,
Martha Gabler

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

A MyAutis...