I didn't have money for a lawyer and ended up filing myself. And won. And you have way more to hand to judge than I did. Be brave and stand tall for those kiddos! Hugs!

I don't know what state you're in but they have free legal services at time and he will still have to pay child support.

You should not be allowing those kids around him. Get a restraining order. File for full custody. Whatever you have to do to keep him out of the picture. It isnt in the kids best interest.

I def dont bad mouth...have an older son who sees on his own. Have a restraining order. Hes mentally abusive to them...well to the one he actually cares to see. He teaches them violence...been thru the court thing for over 10 years now...so i know what kind of joke it is..child support is a joke..wont even waste my time there. Don't want it..rather just have him have nothing to do with them. One can't even talk. But really there needs to be some kind of something done about violent people. I get it is hard to prove mental abuse..and there is going to be people who take kids away for no reason ..i mean i have a case...just no money for a laywer..judges will listen to a lawyer as a professional courtesy..but not to a caring patent..i know what ur saying but i can't let him around when he gets out..my kids nd i have worked so hard to get them to progress..he will disrupt their life.

I know this might rub the wrong way but I wish someone had told me this so I could figure it out earlier and get some peace about it.

The courts are ridiculous when it comes to deciding what's best for the kids. They will let people like your kids dad have visitation and even partial custody of them. They have so many cases, they can't sort through all the BS. Unless he is a child molester or has physically abused one of them, they will still allow him to have them. The free legal people don't do much and take forever. Child support might be much less than you hoped it would be. These are just the realities. Don't waste your time trying to fight something that isn't going to really get any better. You could waste your whole life doing that.

For long term peace, you will need to learn how to live without immediate contact - get a restraining order if you have to. Certainly arrange for a third party to take the kids to him for visitation or change of custody time. Block out anything he says or does as much as you can. Give the drama no room to live in your life. When your kids come to you saying he's going to beat up the bf this and that, you can explain why that is not a good choice to make when you're frustrated or jealous about something. What the consequences would be for someone who made that choice. Talk them through it. Really lead by example in your own life. Never bad mouth him. They will come to see him for everything they should not be or do and look to you for an example of what is right and respect you. They will be so much better off in life for being able to see both sides of the coin.