Each kid is different on how we manage their behavior whether they are on the spectrum or not. With autism, it's difficult because sometimes no matter how hard we try, the interventions, etc. we can not get our children's behavior within an acceptable range. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I know too many parents that do not work to shape their autistic child's behavior and they end up with an out-of-control teenager that is a danger to themselves and others.

Let's not use the word discipline since it carries different meanings for different people. Let's use words like "shaping behavior", "applying natural consequences", "teaching appropriate behavior". Notice all of these phases imply a teaching opportunity. I can promise you that discipline without teaching yields nothing.

So step 1. You need to become a close observer.of your daughter. Why is she screaming and falling to the floor? What is the function of the behavior? Your response will be different depending on the answer to that question. If it's because she wanted a piece of candy and you said no. Then the function of the behavior is to get what she wants... the candy. If you say no and then give in, you taught her that screaming and falling to the floor is an effective way to get her way.

So you can change the antecedent.... you saying no. Or the consequence... you giving in. Or both. In the case of changing the antecedent, you could say. Not now. in ten minutes and set a timer. This will teach her a bunch of new skills if you are consistent about it. That's one example of changing the consequence... there's a lot of other choices as well.

You can change the consequnce... not giving in. Expect the screaming and falling to increase for a while. But over time, if you are consistent... your child will learn that no means no.

Again these are just examples so you can start thinking about a different approach. I could not have raised my son with autism without the training I received. Buy books, hire an ABA consultant, hire an RDI consultant, Learn. This is not for the faint-hearted.

All the suggestions everyone has given you are great. Another thing ,our kids have anxiety when then need to go places b/c of not knowing what is expected and possible sensory issues. If you give her the information before you go, such as :"we are going to the store to get these items. We will be at the store for this amount of time-don't push the amount of time either, if you say 1 hr., then make it one hr. This is what is expected of you. If you we (notice not just her) do well at the store, then we can watch say a favorite video together.(or whatever her preferred thing may be). If you give her the "rules" up front it can alleviate some of her anxiety and behavior.

Another strategy that I have used as a teacher and parent is "owed time" so when the tantrum starts I start my timer. However long the tantrum lasts means they owe you that time back. I am sure to use the owed time the same day as soon as possible or else the child looses the connection. But for school I did this during recess or a fun activity time. I made sure I didn't take all the child's recess but eventually I got all my time back.

So if Madison has a 3 minute tantrum then during her desired activity she owes you 3 mins. Oh you want to do xyz well you "owe mommy time" so then she will have to wait 3 mins. Eventually I got the point when the tantrum would get ready to start and I'd just say do you want to owe mommy time and then she'd cry softly and say no. Then I would wipe her tears and give her a kiss then move on. Trying to negotiate why they couldn't have the toy or whatever just gets them riled up again. So wipe tears...kiss...move on. As my child got older we talked about good choice/bad choice. I would use that vocabulary.

The only way I can discipline Mia is to put her favorite things in time out, She always has to carry a purse with several smalls items, a doll and her phone. ( take the item and put it in time out ) I started this when she was about 5 she is 13 now and its still works.

Look at what happened directly before the behavior, the behavior itself and what happened right after. (consequence) Discover the purpose of the behavior and do not let it function for her. If she is trying to escape something, pick her up to feet and have her continue or wait until she gets up, but do not move on until task is complete. If it is for attention, monitor her for safety and ignore. Praise her when she gets up and behaves appropriately. (kids seek attention whether positive or negative) Catch her being good and give it attention and rewards. If she runs or yells in a store, go back and practice. model the words. 'We do not yell. We have quiet voice etc." Our son's new school tells our son"I know that you want the gym but it is circle time." They show him pictures of what is expected. They keep him engaged in order to keep him going and prevent a melt down. The school prints up real pictures and is helping us do this for him. We show him first/then. It helps to use simple instructions. Too much talking winds him up. Giving choices helps. We are trying to let him know in advance that he can pick one thing. We sometimes give him a different choice and praise for putting back. That is a hard one.