We use vetiver and lavender mixed. Helps with ADHD and anxiety.

I know that this is a bit late but I just stumbled on this site tonight. We definitely use essential oils daily with our 23 yo son who is nonverbal. Since we starting using essential oils with our son 2 years ago he has not had any meltdowns. prior to the oils he was averaging a meltdown monthly. We use blends - Balance and Serenity. Hope this helps.

Have you tried searching essential oils in the Q&A? @A MyAutismTeam Member has written extensively on this.
Good Luck