For both of my children (16 neurotypical and 6 asperger's) I have a rewards system I created. I find 3-5 behaviors I want changed and create monthly calendars for each with a little ot things they must do. It's things they struggle with.

For example, my youngest, he has to do at least 5 of the following things each day to earn a heart for the day: Brush his teeth twice, Read 1 book, be in bed (and stay) by 9PM, sleep in his own bed, complete his math work or chinese class work, clean up after himself, turn off the TV by 7PM, lift up the seat to pee.. etc

If they get a heart 75% of the days that month (each has their own goals, so there is the possibility for one to miss out!!) they earn the monthly prize. Which is rewarded the first weekend of the following month. This month's prize, for example, is going to Blitz, which is an indoor trampoline play place. The prizes are all fun places they can both release some steam. In the summer, for example, I plan to use the Water Park as one of the prizes. So it's a nice bonding time, fun activity, something special that we cannot just do any old day of the week.

It gives them something to look forward to and it also gives wiggle room... because we're human and we make mistakes. If they can constantly physically see what they need to work on, it also helps! I have the charts and lists in the kitchen. They walk past them to go to their rooms, bathroom and back to the living room and outside. So it's constantly reminding them what they need to do to earn that special prize.

Maybe social stories would help.
Here is a link on how to motivate your teen:
http://teenautism.com/2008/11/20/how-to-motivat...

We were helped a lot by a book called "Quirky Yes, Hopeless No". I hope it helps you too!

@A MyAutismTeam Member ~ Awesome ! Thanks for the book title, I just checked my library & it is sitting on their shelf right now. This just made my morning ~ I work at the library & was feeling bad about having to work today...now I have a reason to go in.

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@A MyAutismTeam Member ~ Thanks for the info, I will check it out. I am a voracious reader who considers it a success if I come away with two or three useful nuggets from 600+ pages. On calm days, my son & I have awesome conversations, light hearted ones as well as coming up with strategies for improving our communication.