@A MyAutismTeam Member I guess I would have to say, is this a health or safety concern? If it's not one of those, think about whether this is a "hill you want to die on" - metaphorically speaking! The peeing is a health concern, so yes, that's an issue. So first, let's talk about the clothes - I say sleep in the nude and pull up covers. But perhaps you can therefore strike a compromise. How old is the child? if she's fairly young and this is not a social issue, it may not be worth fighting about right now. Pull ups work for the short time period. However, down the road, of course, she needs to eventually move into not peeing. So until she's ten or so, I'd just go with pull ups. End the fluids and food a good while before bed, use the potty before bedtime, and then resign yourself to pullups

Why? Because life is very stressful and I'm not really convinced that this is something to stress about. I did stress about it because my daughter was upset about it. She did NOT want to use pull ups and she was very upset about the whole deal.

If she has an overnight at someone's house and absolutely CANNOT wear pullups and cannot, for social reasons, risk peeing in the bed, there is a nasal spray that she can use that will temporarily shut the kidneys down overnight. Yes. I know. Not something you'd want to do regularly. There are also pills that are less tough on the system for sleepaway camps - my daughter used them in middle school.

So - there it is. If you can try to relax about it for a bit, I would do that. Life is hard enough - I say this knowing that it's hard to relax - mine is now 22 and I'm only starting to do that now. Hang in there! Amy

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A MyAutis...

My pleasure! I'm so glad I was helpful. Yes, create a structure - a DIFFERENT structure, but a structure Our guys must know what is coming next, always. Write it down, illustrate it with pictures, whatever - but have it on the fridge and point to it regularly. We confuse vacation with chaos, flying freely. Our kids get stressed out by that.

The nighttime schedule can be something like:
20 minutes outside play.
Warning given 5 minutes before end, and 2 minutes before end. Then up to get ready for bed! Timer on phone used for each chunk of time.

5 minutes looking at fish tank, feeding fish. (for example - to help wind down. Could be scooping litter, brushing dog...)
10 minutes: brush teeth.
try to pee, even if you can't
change clothes, hang clothes up.
Be in bed when timer rings for bedtime story.
If NOT in bed, get a bedtime poem instead (see online: shel silverstein - 2 poems instead of story)
10 minutes bedtime story, tuck in.
Good night! no getting up until the next morning, except to use potty by yourself.

Do you see what I mean? Use a timer on your phone - use a non stressful timer, with pretty sounds, and show the child how it will sound.

This way, the timer is telling her when it's time for the next step - you aren't. "The phone says you should be in bed now! Are you? Can I read you a story or will it just be a poem tonight? I hope I can read you a story!"
I hope this helps... Amy

@A MyAutismTeam Member wow, that was some enlightenment. my girl is 5. i felt the issue was sensorial, like she was getting a fix on ripping the pullups (shredding to pieces, more like it) and feeling the bedsheets. it has also to do with the summer break, blessing and a curse. she definitely feeds on the structure school brings and the extended break derails some of the progress we usually experience. it also had to do with phasing out her energy properly before bedtime. i think she needs to be more tired and less excited when bedtime comes, even though with work and all, i end up having to sacrifice some of the play time i have with her when i come back from work at night to give her the rest she so much needs. thanks so much for all the help.

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A MyAutis...