Though both of our girls were very early labeled OP/Def, the newest DSM says that many ASD exhibit oppositional-defience as a way to control their environment. I took classes on raising a special needs child and have learned how to get my girls to cooperate without them needing to resort to opposition. One quick lesson was on phrasing: If-then statements. "If you can be dressed and in the car in 15 minutes, then we will be on time for our play date." This type of statement leaves them in control of their actions and helps them realize their goal. As opposed to the often used, " you have to get dressed or we will be late!" Which usually will trigger defiance.

I had to look this up - Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a childhood disorder that is defined by a pattern of hostile, disobedient, and defiant behaviors directed at adults or other authority figures. ODD is also characterized by children displaying angry and irritable moods, as well as argumentative and vindictive behaviors.

- Im not sure I like the way they have described this condition. I child may appear to be argumentative and vindictive (how strong a word 😲😲😲 ouch!)
No ones child wants this condition it is brain chemistry at work....just like mental illness it is not the persons fault.
Our wee people are bound to have some of this going on given their limitations in verbalising their desires.
If someone glued my tongue to the inside of my mouth they would need a whole new diagnoses for me, M.O.D.D - mother with ODD lol.
Our wee guy lashes out at his Dad who indeed is the more authoritive figure.

Thank you so much for yalls insight I have been at a loss for a while and I am worried he is three and has extreme behavioral issues and anger issues. I just want to make sure I'm getting all the help for both of us. We have tried so many things without any luck tomorrow we find out if he will be added to behavioral therapy with an actual physiatrist so fingers crossed. I have never wanted to give up but lately it's all I can think about when it comes to his anger and violent outbursts followed by laughing through punishment or me crying because he has physically hurt me. I've had several people ask if my husband is abusive because of all the bruises my son causes.

I never hear of ODD
@A MyAutismTeam Member
My daughter only directs it at me.

-defined by a pattern of hostile, disobedient, and defiant behaviors directed at me-
Not always but there have been some good hostility; I wasn't even sure wher it came from. I will have to look more into this. Thanks

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A MyAutis...

My son is now 13 was diagnosed at 5 and almost all his anger is towards me since I've been the only authority figure he's ever had