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Dealing W Agression Towards Parent/caretaker

Dealing W Agression Towards Parent/caretaker

How have you dealt with agressive behavior when it is directed at you from your ASD child?

A MyAutismTeam Member said:

My oldest was speech and language delayed and didn't start communicating until he was five. Because he couldn't use his words, he was physical with his body - slammed his head on a wall and on a sidewalk, hit himself, kick and flail when picked up, arch his back and stiffin up, and hit us. You son is dealing with pain, which is hard for anyone at any age. That part - I feel really bad for him and for you and his care givers. My advice would be to work with him on how to verbally express himself. You speak for him: "Say, 'I'm in pain! I'm so mad!!'" and also express how you feel bad for him, "I'm so sorry sweety, that you're in so much pain, but..." and when he hurts you: "...you can't hurt me. It's not okay!" You might have to do a reward system for not hurting any of you and consequences (when he's not in pain) for hurting others. Children with special needs shouldn't be treated with kid gloves all the time. They need to learn what is right and wrong and giving a consequence to them is the hardest thing, but it has to be done or the bad behavior will continue. More than anything - feed the meter - meaning focus more on what he does right, so that he tries to keep pleasing and doing what's right. Hopefully, by teaching him the words he needs to use and having him practice it will help flip the need to express his pain by hurting others to talking about it (or crying or screaming about it), instead. Until then, you may want to learn some self defense techniques to grab his hands, cross them in front of him, and sitting with him in a tight hug (some ASD children like pressure) until he's calmed down. If he does like pressure, then weighted blankets and compression shirts help, too; it helps them feel more in control of their space around them instead of feeling vulnerable and out of control.

posted over 3 years ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

ANY thoughts or experience with this would be appreciated. William has cluster headaches and will head bang and at times hit or pinch me or caregivers. When he first started a hard foam helmet was obtained. He tore it up! Has literally knocked holes in walls and body slammed couch breaking the frame. Working with medication adjustments, talking and reinforcing good behavior and nasal ablation to open airway has helped reduce negative behavior but it occasionally rears it's ugly head. He is so sweet until he has an episode. Pain seems to aggravate situation. He will want you to squeeze his head really hard yet may pinch or hit you during the process. Holding him to limit ability to hurt himself or others is also done at home and school but he's getting so big I can hardly do that effectively. There is a difference in a tantrum and pain from ear and cluster headache. His physicians shake their heads and state hopefully he will outgrow the headaches. After treated successfully for an ear infection after a culture was done resulted in about 3 weeks without any episodes
It was wonderful for him and caregivers. Took some convincing to get docs to culture his ear as he did not have classical symptoms. Hopefully the medical team can help more now that they've seen this result. I have shown them my injuries as well.

posted over 3 years ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

My son is non verbal as well, so I understand his frustration (we are by the way, working on communication Picture Exchange in therapy) but he has broken my skin several times and made it bleed. He also self injures by hitting his head really hard with his hands.

posted over 3 years ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

Starsor.... The answer and suggestion you state above is really good... I really appreciate the part about reinforcing the behaviors you want from a child . thank you

posted over 3 years ago
A MyAutismTeam Member said:

I have walked with the battle scars too. My daughter is the most aggressive I put foam letters on her walls to help with head banging. I hold her hands and do hand squeezes and tell her we don't hurt when we are mad or I take and guide her to a chewy because she is also a biter it took months but she now almost always calms down in a couple minutes and I no longer have scratches or bite marks

posted over 3 years ago
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